Friday, November 30, 2007

But I still haven't found what I am looking for...

So goes Bono and the gang and so goes my heart....a deep,deep sense of lack of identification to the people and places around me.Is this emptiness?How can it be?Have I strayed??I don't know .Heard Ravi Zach say that the older he gets more to the basics he goes?Do these preachers in their all knowing assurance they potray feel a deep sense of hollowness sometimes?Are they convinced about what they share?Oh lord help me.
Yes there was a bit about absolute purity in word ,unseduced by the world -real to the core which did strike a cord within me .Help me lord in these times to hold on to your absolute standards.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

The lord delights in the worship of his people!

Three days of heaven-night and day revival service-We are at it.The campus looks and feels different.A time of worship,and a time of listening to his words from his servants.It is going to continue for another seven days.Nav-jivan feels like a new-life hospital.Praise the lord.Hoping to attend the RZIM national conference in Delhi if the lord wills it.

Thursday, November 15, 2007


It was like a deja-vu.I have always loved Kolkotta .I have mantained it throughout my college days but there have been times in between I have often wondered why.I had to go down to Kolkotta for my visa-this week.I put up in the YWCA which to my utter delight was in the Park-Street.As you entered the premises of the YWCA,you immediately feel at home with posters of Jesus and mother Teresa all over the place with notices sbout the church timing,et,al.Just when you walk out of the gate 'Sourav's'-Ganguly's eatery stares you in the face.For better part of the day I straggled my way around for my visa.I had a half day in Kolkutta to do what I wanted and that is exactly what I did.Just the previous day,two things Kolkottans romance most about had happened .I was lucky to have been there when it did.Nandigram had taken place during the week.The intellegentias of Kolkotta had called a morcha which was to march through the streets of Kolkotta.Nothing like it had happened even in Kolkotta.There they had turned out ,people from all walks of life in support of the helpless at Nandigram.The figure was estimated to be over 50,000.This is why I love Bengal.People have a heart here.The other thing was Mohun Bagan under the captainship of BhaichungBhutia,Bengal's blue-eyed boy had lifted the league.Bhaichung is from Sikkim like me.
As I loitered around the streets of Kolkotta with no particular thing in mind it felt totally relaxing.Saw a Dey's coffee house at my lunch time.Had a delicious mexican rice with mushrooms and risotto and the original chikmangalur coffee the way they make it.
Loved every moment of it.Walked up to the AC market,pampered myself to a few kitkats.It brought back memories of my college days when we used to do the rounds of the theatre road sampling every pani-puri walas pani-puri in turns.I remebered my friends Temsula,Shasinle,Sandhya and the rest and the way the girls from the north-east used to splurge on expensive dresses without batting their eye-lids.I also remembered how with time all of us had changed, each ones good points rubbing on to the other.I didn't miss my friends I just enjoyed remembering them.The charm of Kolkotta was all there to captivate me again -not Delhi,with its harshness,not Madras with its south-Indianness,Mumbai can't say ,haven't really spent enough time there.Give me Kolkotta any day!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

'Victims innocentes.'

Yesterday I saw a movie-'victim innocentes'-a story of a boy Chama ,based in the background of the civil war in El-Salvador.It was a heart-breaking story made more poignant by the wonderful acting of the boy-actor.It sort of made me get the focus back which I personally felt I was losing for bits due to all the pettiness which I am also a part of in our everyday lives.As I sat in the church and participated in the singing of the song'jivan rupi more dunga ahay'which speaks of jesus taking us through the stormy sea across to the other side -it brought tears to my eyes.In that level of suffering and desperation where innocent children are being used everyday to cater to the animal spirit of man in all coats of sophistication what sort of tomorrow do we have to give our children?The world needs the hope that only Jesus can give.Do I in my everyday life give even ten seconds of thought to all the souls that are being moulded to frames where Jesus may or may not be accomodated.Have mercy on me o'lord.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Oddanchattram - The way I see it now...........

In the midst of the haze of trying to balance a hundred and one things together one often forgets to savour every minute that passes by.It is God alone who needs to be given the glory for all the beauty in our lives,I am getting a year older and it seems like I am really putting on in years,hopefully more mentally than physically.I very often find myself unconciously going through the motions automatically.
Then I stop for a moment to take a deep breath and look around which is when I realise what I am actually missing.
The other day I received a mail from ODC asking me to write something about my time there.As I sat back with my pen to write - this is what actually flowed through.It was a revelation for me.

ODDANCHATTRAM-The way I see it now.

Oddanchattram,ten years since.After a decade in the rough and tough world of Indian missions,it almost seems like a distant dream.What does ODC mean to me now?It means Dr.KV's warm smile that reaches the heart,Dr.K.O pulling out gauvas from his shoulder bag in Pachalur and giving it to us,week-end retreats with Drs Paul and Latha,Dr Sushil struggling to get a good scale from us as he worked towards the christmas choir,valsa's chocolate cake,Dr.Raj's evening also means Beulah aka calling us for the evening prayer,Zeba refusing to look at us after a bad singing session in the chapel,Sheba and myself sitting at the back of the chapel and crying our hearts out as Sam and Sarah David shared their testimony through a song,Abraham snoring through the meditation sessions in Pachalur,culinary skills that could turn macaroni into mayonnaise........Ali,Nithila,Nancy and the never ending laughing sessions....and the voices of Sunil and Mary Abraham over the telephone now asking me how I am in Satbarwa!
Oddanchattram to me is the hand and reflection of God in its myraid beauty in the lives of people like you and me.