Sunday, August 29, 2010


Today my neice who had come to be with her father for the last three months flies back to the US sans the assurance of having the earthly father,I cannot begin to understand her pain.Walking up the hill for the last rites,she was heard commenting 'appa is so mean!He is making us walk so much!'I could almost visualise my cousin winking.
The other day there was an article in the newspaper sent all the way from the UN where an IPS officer from the backwater is posted .It was a tribute to a senior colleague who had been his district collector when he was posted afresh as a young police officer in the God's own country.
I received another letter from a lovely lady from Bangalore who had been in school with him and had read his book.I thought it was a lovely gesture of grace ,especially since I did not know her.
For the past two days the pastor has been blessing us with this lovely words-'The Lord remembers!'.
What a beautiful assurance and what a beautiful truth!We,with our short memory tend to forget easily but the Lord remembers .The lord remembers your graciousness..,your kindness...
but most of all the Lord remembers you and me.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Something of the yore and something new!

Kumud,Sandhya,Pradhan and Ajay were here for a day.They had an extra day at hand.They were on their way to attend the MUC,they arrived a day earlier and they came away straight to Herbertpur.It gladdened my heart to see them.
Spent a lovely evening with them.It was like having one's family visit.
Prayed for Satbarwa together.
It's two weeks exactly since I joined H'pur and the women's group met at my place today to get ready for the all night prayer at the church.We have the women leading the worship from ten to eleven.Lyn is leading us in worship and the lovely ladies are all supporting her in spirit.It's such a joy to meet up with a group of ladies who are ready and open for the lord to work in their lives.I am excited,I don't remember a time ever when I have waited on the lord for a whole night...
The DNB students had their internal evaluation today.Geogy is here for the same.He spends his time diligently with the student,working on them so as to make sure not to discourage them in any way.
My heart aches for these kids who are extremely sincere and diligent,believers and non-believers alike.My earnest prayer is that the Lord will take over their training and we will see some breakthroughs in every which ways.These are special people brought into the sphere of our walk with the Lord,may we be able to honour the Lord ,as individuals and as an organisation in the way we guide them and treat them.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

He came from heaven to earth to show the way!

Was reading from the epistles for the morning quiet time.Enjoyed Philipians .I had my chapel turn .Was looking to the Lord for some guidance .While praying,I was suddenly singing in the spirit...the leading was to speak about Christ's I had to turn back to the Gospels...and it was the gospel of John that I turned to.
Certain aspects of jesus' ministry came through.
1)He was 'sent'.
2)His purpose was clear and he moved with His head towards Jerusalem...towards the purpose.
3)His priorities were He teaches his disciples to pray..
Oh Lord our father,
who ought in Heaven ,
Hallowed be thy name..,
Thy Kingdom come...
4)He came to reconcile and restore men not to condemn them.
5)His most intimate burden which he shares with His father in His prayer were-
-that they have eternal life and this is eternal life that they know you and jesus Christ whom you have sent.
-that they may be one as we are one .
-That they may be sanctified by truth and the truth is your Word.
6)Great Comission.
7)The restoration of Simon Peter and the question-'Do you love me?-if so...feed my lamb.
8)If you love me you will obey my commands.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

As you do it!

'As you do 'by Richard Hammond is a travel adventure narrative written by one of the crews of Top Gear-the BBC serial .It is a delightful read anyday with the author taking you on a trip to the Arctic on a dog sledge to a drive across the heart of Africa with all it's varied struggles and babboonry.Born in 1969,he has a hilarious take on the struggles and fiascos behind the scene of filming TV serials on adventure.Loved his language and found myself chuckling all tomyself even as I finished one half of the book on a saturday night.It's amazing how recording one's experiences through everything that happens in life can be such a fascinating read for another person.I liked the person that came through in the book.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Something due......

My cousin PG who passed away recently was an exceptional person.Almost a decade older than I ,reckless as can be ,did everything one could possibly do in his lifetime.Was an achiever who broke rules every step of the way and always had the last laugh most times.
I remember him being picked out in school for getting into a gang fight of sorts-I also remember him being a rebel in school and topping the boards-I remember him bearded and into martial arts.......hearing stories about his hindu days...he was once telling me how he burnt all his furnitures in the lawn of his college on the last but one day....he topped his college as well.I remember his father changing drivers gallore because he was found perpetually in their company 'guitaring' away and generally jamming around.I remember my uncle taking my two cousins in turn for sessions of lecture which lasted half an hour or so but both the boys were in complete awe of the father.
He went on at the age of 22 to fields of the IAS and suddenly he was the beaurocrat to the hilt!-he was an exceptional administrator-intelligent,clean and often picked up by his political bosses to straighten things out .
He married and when he had his first child I remember him making an off-hand remark one day about how for the first time in his life he had experienced fear when the flight was more turbulent than usual-his first thought was for his new-born daughter.
From beaurocracy to the bike days ..his telephones would come from different destination...'keeping a tab' is what he used to say ,but a reminder to uphold him in prayers is what I believe it was.
I somehow caught up with him in the last decade of his life.He was a good brother to have and much too intelligent for our comfort sometimes.
Secrets never remained a secret with him....he could look through the struggles and the areas of our lives and put his fingers on it and come up with revelations ...smirking all the way...he left you speechless sometimes with his one liners,wondering what was in his mind.....and we argued and we argued about religion...,about priciples...about relationships......about everything under the earth...we loved our brother.
A lot of people have said and written a lot of things...about him...some things hold true...some things sound strange...someone in one of the tributes has even mentioned in all good intent that he never took life too seriously-I for one,know my brother as an exceptionally sensitive ,intelligent individual who took life much more seriously than most of us do.The last ten years of his life has been a search..a journey
to find himself..much has been written,discussed....and understood or misunderstood about his life...I ,for one, would fervently like to believe that he had the last laugh even at the end.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

I understand perfectly what you mean!!

Difference in the way we understand and comprehend people was something I have ,I must confess, rarely entertained.I still remember once after an impassioned interpretation of some passage, one of my juniors softly reminded me,-'mam,we are men,we understand and comprehend things differently from the way women do'.I am still trying to comprehend what he meant!
Working in a rural set-up of Jharkhand for better part of nine years,we take a lot of things for granted.I shifted to Herbertpur in the beginning of this month and thanked my stars that, for a change ,I wouldn't have to learn my alphabets from the scratch,it was Hindi in JKD and it remains hindi in Uttarakhand allright.I hadn't quite taken into consideration the local nuances that remain so much a part of India.
For instance while examining the abdomen of a patient in JKD ,when we ask a patient to bend the leg to relax the abdomen,there is one and only one way it is understood and that is what they do .In Uttarakhand they show you four different ways of doing it and ask you to choose how you would like the leg to be bent!The first time it happened I was shocked and irritated a bit and then it struck me actually it wasn't the patient's fault he was bending his legs allright,I just had not specified where I wanted it bent ,in which direction,which angle and at what joint to be specific.
Then there is the quintiessential bystander come straight from the hills who brings in a sick patient.During the process of history taking he keeps butting in to enquire if it is the patient's detail or his that I am after.
For instance ,if you ask 'how is the appetite?,the bystander will immediately reply 'are you asking about my appetite,-it is good!'
Somewhere during the long waiting hours in the hospital ,I presume they forget they have brought a patient in to see a doctor and get the sense of sitting in a village chowk ,making small talks.
I got to do my first bronchoscopy in Herbertpur the other day.For a change everything actually worked-the suction was just right,there were variety of biopsy needles,the light source was perfect,there was a camerra intact and I could actually do a video bronchoscopy and a biopsy.The right main bronchus was completely obliterated by a mass ,I took an endo-bronchial biopsy and on the retrospect thought ,I should have taken a fine needle aspirate and a brush biopsy as well-I should get to it the next time.Although the patient most likely has a malignancy,he was already looking and feeling better as most illiterate people do when they undergo endoscopies.They have this firm unshakeable belief that these procedures are curative...inspite of my having explained the procedure to them ...ask me ,I did my thesis on helico-bacter for my post-grad studies.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

These days...!

HCH feels hazy and like a dream.It is that time in my life when everything seems a little surreal.Have just lost a cousin who was such an important part of our lives,everything seems so temporary!Was driving through to the Himachal border to Ponta for dinner with friends,the scenery around was really quite out of the world.The river flowing ,the hills,the endless forests...and then ofcourse the man-made place of worship...hindu,sikh or muslims...,I wondered aloud..why does man immediately build a place of worship wherever they find an out of the world place?It is that deep longing to connect with the creator of the beauty I suppose!!
I have not really settled down in Herbertpur the way I thought I would-the deep restlessness is still there.It is just the second week,I suppose there is enough time.I have a deep peace about what I have left behind,but oh lord,I still do need clarity about the steps ahead.

Friday, August 6, 2010


Chapters in life keep opening and closing-very often it is for a time and sometimes it is quite final.You learn each time but the learning comes with the reality which hits you off and on...even as you move on...a pain somewhere which hopefully time will heal.You watch,you live....God gives you an oppurtunity to see things from a point of view one may never have been sensitive about earlier.....we learn the hard way most times.
Being in a medical profession ,we see death so often that we often shut ourselves to it.There comes a time when it hits you on the face....and then the very experience .....helps you grow.
Loneliness of the dying has been very much a part of my meditation in the recent week.As I was sharing my experience a friend seemed to be very quiet and she suddenly asked me,if it was possible for believers to be lonely when they are dying?Difficult question to answer and when I asked her why?-she told me that her father breathed his last even as he asked her mother to pray for him-she just wondered when I shared my experience with her.
I find that it is next to impossible to connect with the dying unless you are connected to the very source of life.It is that juncture of one's life when one has finished off with spouting philosophies ,every minute is so precious,every second so sacred...the power to reach out to the dying in their acute loneliness can only come from above.....amidst the hulla-bulla of the people who surround you ,look to your needs,talk to can be very lonely ,it is indeed a very special ministry -ministered to perfection only by the Great Comforter -God in his grace lets us be partakers in it sometimes!