Monday, May 30, 2011

My redeemer lives!!

Yesterday was the worship sunday at HCH.
It was a time of presenting group songs and the floor was wide open for people to pitch in in the way they wanted.We sang two numbers ,one was 'Elshaddai' and the other 'Lily of the Valley'.The evening was heart-warming to say the least.All of us came away with joy in our hearts feeling good about the day.
There is something heart-warmingly genuine about the place!
I thank God that I am here in this place in a time like this!
Couldn't take photographs but I guess I will take some of the pictures of yesterday to my grave.
My redeemer lives!!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Arise,shine for your light is come ......!

I have but recently forayed into the world of photography.
The play of light and shadows have been fascinating me quite a bit.
One of my favourite so far has been that of light filtering through the window into a dark room.
Going into the physics of it,there are only two ways in which a ray of light can be seen .One is if it falls directly into the eye and second is if it is reflected through a medium.
For the rays of light falling into the dark room the medium is the tiny dust particles suspended in the air,each one oscillating at it's own frequency and dispersing the light waves thus giving us the visual treat.
Fascinating,I thought.I wondered what would be the charecteristics in the particles that made such miraculous phenomenon a possibility.
I enumerated three,there might be more.
The particle by the smallness and the lightness of it's being was suspended mid-air.(What processes it must have been through to reach that form.)
It was literally living on the edge,a simple gale could displace it in any direction.
It has no light of it's own.It's beauty thus, is entirely that of the sun's light.
We are called to live lives like that in these times.
It draws a parellel to the prophecy of Isaiah ,"Arise,shine for your light is come.
The glory of the Lord rises upon you.
See the darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the Lord rises upon you
and his glory appears over you.
Nations will come to your light,
and kings to the brightness of your dawn."
As Jesus says in Mathew 5 vs.14-16
"You are the light of the world...a city on a hill cannot be hidden.."
Therefore Arise,shine for the your light is come...The glory of the Lord rises upon you.
This arising is a deliverence from inaction that comes by the empowerment of the Holy spirit.It is the light of GOd being reflected by the people of God....To shine with a beauty which is not our own...
As Paul puts it in Ephesians 5vs 14-"Arise o'sleeper from the dead and Christ will shine on you".
May it be so.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Where can I go from your spirit ?Where can I flee from your presence?

I close my eyes and try to recollect where my life was when I was twenty....I vaguely remember Bengal,endless
friends,poetry,aspirations...and a feeling that I could conquer the world....somewhere out there a calling for something more....
It's not so clear but I definately know where Ashwini Kumar was when he turned twenty.He was behind the bars somewhere in Dehradun district accused of raping a minor....released on bail and then tried to end his life by consuming a poison.
It was one of those days when the ICU beds were occupied three in a row by patients of deliberate self harm.Two were twenty,each one in their twelfth class and the third was a girl just about thirteen.
I was overwhelmed and loss for words when I went for the rounds in the morning.COuld not manage having a chat with all three and so after a close observation I picked out the one who looked the most bound and that was when Ashwini fell into my plate.
It was the usual story of hormones gone on an over-drive with no guidance to see them through.The father ,an agent in the local bus service, tried to hide the fact when I first asked him and after a brief chat he broke down.
I got the story from the boy.
He had missed giving his class 12th exams in April and apparently fell for a girl next door.They decided to elope.Elope they did to Haridwar which seems to be the place for all sorts of escape activities.However,the law caught up with them,the girl's parents filed a case of rape against him and that is how he had landed up in the jail.
He was out on a bail and the girl had apparently changed her statement once she was with her parents.
At twenty he was bankrupt in every which ways and saw no reason to continue living....
How can one identify with a person who has had such a bad deal so early in do you connect?
Ofcourse there was only one person who could reach out into the depth and be there with him with an assurance saying I undertand your pain...and that is the favourite person I started talking about even as I broke down.
He helped me with the story seems once again here, he had been to the church a few times.
I spent around half an hour talking to him and then I handed him over to my colleague to be followed up by the local church.
Here was a family which badly needed accompaniment at a crucial time like this to see them I saw it only Jesus could see them through to the other shore but even as the ray of light needs the dust to reflect it's light through so that it can be seen, how many of us who have tasted Christ are willing to be the dust for the Lord's light to fall into all the dark corners of the world?
This counselling broke me somewhat,but the Lord ministered to me through the psalm of David.(Psalm 139 vs.7and 8).
"Where can I go from your spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens,you are there;if I make my bed in the depths ,you are there."
Do pray a silent prayer for Ashwini and his family.

A special week indeed!

Had the Eichers over for a day and a half.
It was so very generous of the family to forfeit two whole precious days of their annual break to spend it with us in HCH.
I have always enjoyed having them over and this time too it was a treat.
Their presence in my life is a very special blessing which reminds me of the love of our savior,constant,caring...and just walking along.
Sheba calls me up once a month...and just listens to me..she has listened to me through all the ups and downs of my life...never judgemental,gently correcting me,guiding me at times....and I have talked,really talked away my struggles,my tensions......sometimes I have often wondered mid-conversation how Sheba could possibly take in all that I jabber but she has....and she has never forgotten to pray with me over the phone.
These are the monthly calls and apart from it they also manage to visit me at my place of work once a year,earlier it used to be Satbarwa and this time it was Herbertpur.
I thank God for these precious friends almost every day of my life....!

Saturday, May 14, 2011

On Losing weight!!

The scales are going happy on me.
We have a british scale in the OPD passed on as an inheritance I suppose ,arguably the most accurate scales in HCH.
The staffs pop in every now and then to weigh themselves –everyone descends off it with a thoughtful expression on their face…God only knows what they think about and I try my best not to intrude into that intense moment in their lives.
There are occasional extroverts who blurt out their bane loud and clear and it almost always moves along a similar trend.
I found the trend I was taking quiet encouraging in the first few weeks because I was grossly overweight…..atleast that’s what the standards in the diet manuels stated.I thought life was pretty cool but for a niggling doubt that I hadn’t become one of the victims of the manifold diseases I work against.
I had no other symptoms and it suited me fine as long as I felt good about losing a few extra pounds-I felt a lot lighter!Everyone seemed to notice my weight loss.
Over the last few weeks I seem to have stabilised but thanks to a GI infection,I not only had a fainting attack which is a totally new territory for me I also just about crossed the boundary line.I am still overweight ,it seems according to the standards…….
Hopefully my body will settle to a consensus with my mind soon and I and my body will zero in on an equilibrium-till then I will celebrate losing seven kilos in a two months time!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

My Baptism story.....

Twelve years ago when I was doing my post-graduation in Odddanchattram….I shared with Dr K.O. John about my not being baptised…..I don’t remember what KO told me that day but the day I was to leave ODC, in the English fellowship in Dr Selwyn’s church a group of saints of God laid their hands on me and prayed ,I got convicted that I had been baptised in the Holy spirit then.
That conviction carried me through the next twelve years of my tumultious Christian journey.I knew I had to go through the physical process of baptism as a step of obedience to Christ and prayed about it earnestly for the Lord to lead me….it did not happen.
When my time in Satbarwa was getting over,I mentally made a note that my baptism would be high on my list of priorities.I thought I would get it done in HCH because the spiritual clime was so much more feasible…..but the prompting was there for me to go back to my hometown ,a place where I am so much more well as stiff-necked…,I needed to go through the process there for my sake ,for my parent’s sake and my relative’s sake …..and also to make a public stand of my faith because there were so little opportunity to do that in my hometown being away most times.
I was praying about my baptism for sometime and had mentally planned it for February of 2011,it did not happen again but I started preparing my parents for it back home.I planned out my leave with my colleagues and it looked like time would be in hand only in the second week of April.
One day in one of the biblical discourses we were having, the pastor was talking about baptism and then he looked at me directly and asked me- ‘Will you obey?’,I believe it was the Holy spirit-because I definitely had not shared it with him.
I asked my fellowship in HCH and a few close friends to specifically pray for my baptism .
On reaching home incidentally the only Sunday I could make it was on easter.The pastor was gracious in accommodating my baptism and cancelling an appointment he had to go for.I was looking forward to the day.
On Wednesday on my way to my home town ,I got the news that my elderly aunt had come down to Gangtok suddenly for a fortnight’s break.I made a swooping visit to her place to meet her .I spent a fruitful fifteen minutes with her before I left for home.On Thursday evening around eight at night I received the news that she had suddenly passed away following a massive heart-attack.
Suddenly my baptism plans looked like going awry…most of us were at deep peace about her death but I was in knots about my baptism.My baptism had to be postponed.It was scheduled for Wednesday,next.My mother was at me to be on my knees for it.
However one day before the baptism ,I lost my temper with my sister over a minor issue.
Feeling utterly worthless and cast down I hid my face under the rug ……and was feeling very discouraged with my self……I heard the melodious sound of the hymn ‘Not by might,not by power but by my spirit says the Lord’,being sung in the church by the Tuesday prayer group which was incidentally going on then.I prayed about the issue and made up with my sister.This is how the Lord cares and He shepherds!
Due to the sudden demise,all the relatives from far and near started flooding into town.The funeral took place on Tuesday.On Wednesday morning,my father was up and about early in the morning making arrangements.In the mean time,I thought I started having my periods.My stress level took a new high and I knelt on the floor and cried out to the Lord…I remember the words roughly….-‘Lord,I want this so badly and I have been waiting for this for so long please let it happen..please stop my periods so that I can go through with this step of obedience …’
My sister was with me on her knees .
Seventeen years after I accepted Jesus as my personal savior,I went through my baptism …..attended by a handful of precious people…..not necessarily all the people I would have wanted to be there but people who the Lord moved the mountain , for the occasion.
The joy in my father’s face was something note-worthy,I can imagine how my heavenly father must have rejoiced !.