Sunday, December 26, 2010

Let me heal in His hands.....I have not had the time!!

Someone asked me how was last christmas?...For the last four years I have been away from my family during christmas.I remember last christmas like the back of my hand.Infact for the past three years or so I have spent the christmas nights resuscitating patients back to life by the grace of God.It has invariably happened that the patient and myself ,we walk out of the ACU in the morning.They blessing me and I ,thanking the Lord for the Gift of life given for Christmas.However,last christmas was unusual indeed and will not I guess, go away from my memory too soon in the future.
My cousin was struggling for life in Jaipur,the family had all but given up on him..Mr Ram Narayan Sahu(name changed),from Satbarwa,who had just had a bypass surgery ,who also had diabetes mellitus with stage four nephropathy came in with acute on chronic renal failure with gross fluid retention ,huffing ,puffing and frothing out blood and could not go for dialysis till the day-break.That was enough to keep me by his bed-side ,....he settled by the morning and so he gratefully walked to his car,bound for Ranchi.
Unkempt and ready to hit the bed I had just about reached my door when I got a frantic phone-call from my administrator ,a young single girl that five hefty men with camerras,et all,supposedly journalists were at her door harassing her.Satbarwa is a strange place where securities dissappear when problem arises.I was running across the lawn to her place and found her looking out of the mesh window and five men with camerras ,et all standing with pad and pens.Arms akimbo,I was shouting across the lawn,I wondered where it came from(my style) and what I would have done if they had turned upon me but I hardly had a choice in the matter...in another five minutes they apologised and we worked out that it was concession they were after.
Bristtling with I guess not anger,but the utter tiredness and fatigue,I walked towards the mess....I felt nauseated and my head was hammering away.
With a slight doubt in my mind ,I asked the cook not to put salt in my omelete...I had my breaker and then walked towards the hospital to get my blood pressure checked...my diastolic was 150....
I never even realised when I had crossed over from being the 'i will conquer the world mode ..to-I better look after myself mode!'
I have considerably slowed down since then,my blood pressure is down to normal ...but I realise that there is a lot more healing to be done..
the other day the sound of the loud drums in my house with the youth prancing around to the christmas carols had me quite disturbed and took me a quarter of an hour to recover....
I never fail to surprise myself!

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