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Showing posts from 2017

Christmassed in !

The count down begins post a day after Christmas.I am 'Christmassed in' in Ashford because the public transports are not functioning this week.It has been a deeply calming christmas though.Was on call on christmas eve.A few hours before I actually went in for the duty at nine I felt a deep sense of calm and I knew that everything would be allright.I saw and felt the grace of God in bits and pieces of sunshine in the eve celebrated as Christ's birth.I felt covered by His grace and so it has been all this time post-christmas.Some things are beyond explanation and at this phase of my life I find myself bathed in His grace,perhaps it is the prayer of the believers. Some things that brought a deep sense of joy in my heart was to see a daughter and a son (perhaps with families of their own )sit by a sick father's bed-side all through the night.I saw a daughter never leave a mother's side through the twelve hour wait in the corrider and further more just sat by the bedsid

The sigh of God!

This Christmas has been a thoughtful one.I am on duty on Christmas Eve. This Christmas strangely ,the book of Hosea has been a predominant theme in my personal promptings.One morning as I lay in bed,God's sigh to Ephraim became mine. The book of Hosea is a picture of a God, who pursues us inspite of our waywardness and callousness.The love that the Lord has for Ephraim is a sigh that was manifest in Christmas and later in easter.Our God who loved us so much that He paid both side of the bargain to restore us to Him. To those of us who are not familiar with the book of Hosea in the old testament,Hosea is an old testament prophet who is instructed by the Lord to marry a wayward,promiscous and unfaithful woman.He obeys and marries her but she leaves him and finds another man. However God instructs him to accept her back and he obeys again,is faithful,finds her redeems her and brings her back to Him. It is analogy of God's love for His people manifest in Christmas and easter ,

Benjamin!-Youngest of the tribes.

I was watching a movie about Austria around the time of second world war made from the point of view of a Jewish girl and the feeling seemed familiar.The same strife goes on today in veneers of sophistication ,coated in different colours.Ask me ,I know what it feels like to be a minority. I am a woman from India,single,belong to a tribe of people from a state of Sikkim,who were the original inhabitants and yet have become the 'vanishing tribe' as one author puts it and to top it I am a mixed breed or as one of my friends often used to tease me half breed with my root in three main comunities of Sikkim.Even to a Sikkimese we present a strange picture.I am a christian to boot.That confuses a person from Sikkim even more.How come ?They inadvertantly ask,in a state, where we number 0.6% of the already scanty population.I think I might be one of the two people from my organisation to come from my state and perhaps the only doctor. At the moment in UK everywhere I go people have ne

Hillsong London Carols 2017 Live stream

Attended the hiisong carol service in London. It was in SSE arena in Wembley.The morning service was the only one with any space and it was packed to the hilt. The O'Holy night,the moment when Jesus' birthplace was sighted by three wisemen and when Pastor Gary stroddled out to share the message of Christmas,the message of Hope ...was the highlight for me.

O Holy Night!

SSA arena has a seating capacity of 12500.This was the only carol service which had some space,there were two more at three and seven at night which were capacity so I booked it.I had some doubts in the morning but since I had to attend a church service somewhere I just bucked myself and went for it.Thank God I did. It was a spectacular show of talent by the youngsters with a lot of poignant moments in between. When one of the lady singers lead the 'O'Holy night' one could just feel the movement of the spirit,it was powerful! In between the grandiose and spectacular show of lights and the technical glitz of a first world stage which just overpowers one in terms of light and sound ,it was reassuring to see pastor Gary stroddle out in his semi casual attire to do some straight talk in his 'australian' accent( I only noticed it today).He shared the Christmas message,the message of Christ,the message of Hope.The moment when the three wiseman see the birthplace of Jes

Deadlines,Christmas spoilers,Ranveer Singh and the weather forecast.

Someone has a deadline A terminal disease I am told. He winks at me and tells me plain till christmas he should hold. Another daughter looks at her mother in total frustration tripple dementia,all downhill will be her christmas spoiler. Everything is normal,Ofcourse it is one never hears of it but for the frantic call from abroad asking for your safety, The news is a disaster overdosing on negative feeds a sure recipe for clinical depression, so now I just follow Ranveer Singh. Talking of Ranveer,he was in the airport Mobbed by 'the classic Indian pesterer'..... He looked like he could sock the guys, He clenched a toothy pose with them instead. Weather forecast said snow in kent. It's snowing allright on the rooftops,cars, the children sleighing on the ground In the television in Kent.

'Lord we have come.'

Today the preaching was on the ten virgins,five with and five without oil. The Jewish tradition of marriage goes something like this. The groom travels to the bride's house where they have the main ceremony and then they wend their way back to the groom's house .However there is no telling how long it is going to be before they return with the bride.So the people at the groom's house have a long wait.In the parable we see them returning at midnight.One can visualise in the mind's eye the tiredness of the groom's family awaiting the arrival of the groom with the bride.The ten virgin's are likewise awaiting the groom ,five are actually ready with the oil in their lamps full whereas five are not. One can imagine when the groom comes back all of them fumbling to receive him ,out of their slumber.The one's who have oil will light their lamps and happily go forward to greet the groom but the ones who do not have the oil will be begging the ones who are ready bu

How come you never told me?

'You shall know the truth and truth shall set you free.'(John 8 vs 32) I remember the first few week into my job I met a second generation indian foundation year student.As I got talking she suddenly blurted out that she was from a hindu background in Gujarat but she was a christian and had accepted Christ as her Lord and savior. I was taken aback because west is not necessarily conducive with a roaring evangelical bent,especially in England, where people are by nature 'stiff upper lip'.However,though believing christians are few and far between they are comitted,now only if they would open up a bit more!,love a little more. She further added that she reads her bible everyday and prays.I asked her why? She told me in so many words,'Because it is the truth'.Isn't it?She asked me.I was taken aback a little by what she said. I have with age learnt not to come to quick conclusion.I have by God's grace learnt to hugely respect and stand back in awe at t

Jerusalem ,a city in waiting.

Church was mourning the passing away of a fellow member.One could not miss the sadness and yet the preaching was a powerful one on second coming. The pastor observed that all our celebration was in commemoration of events of the past which had a great implication for the future.What about celebration and an alligning of our lives in anticipation of the things to come? Today the advent begins and the latin word adventus is the greek word parousia commonly used to refer to the second coming of Christ. We looked at the city of jerusalem today. Jew perspective-There are graves of the jews on the Mount of Olives,an expensive space to be burried in .Amidst the tombstones we find the graves of the prophets also.According to the prophecy in Zechariah 4 and 5,it talks of the Messiahs feet being on the Mount of Olives and how the elect will come up with Him.The Jews anticipate the coming of the Messiah first to the Mount of Olive and thus believe that they will be the first to rise up from d

Deliver us from evil.

Church was at Dominion today because I was to lunch out with my friends Anu,Dinesh and Ojasvi in London. We changed lunch to early dinner due to the weekened train snags and Ojasvi's music lessons.The worship was beautifully touching.I felt lead to pray for the kids on the stage even as I worshipped that they would be trailblazers for our Lord Jesus. Pastor Gary took a session on forgiveness.I was not sure why? Jesus' way being 'Love armed with forgiveness' as the author puts it in 'Radical forgiveness'.The example of Jesus, as He showed us the way on the cross. He reiterated the story of Joseph.The importance of forgiveness in taking hold of our inheritance.He talked about how we make a room for the evil when we take offence. I asked the Lord,why this sermon today?Am I holding onto any offence? I realise everyday is a new day with challenges,we need to be on our knees in humility and pray for God's infinate grace that He will protect us from the evil

Ekla Cholo Re - Kishore Kumar

Beautiful folkish rendition of Tagore's ekla chalo by Kishore Kumar.This is a poetry that has inspired generations and is one of the golden legacy of India that was .

Some thoughts along the way..

I picked up 'Lean in' at random from the kindle store because I wanted to read a good book which would perhaps challenge me to an extent.I am not sure my choice was right.The author has written a very down to earth account of balancing work life and family life for women.After sometime It became my bathroom read and I thought I heard a lady ramble on and on about a topic which in the male bastion could be concluded in a single sentence. I don't mean to shortsell the book.For women with children and pregnancy to balance with a demanding job there might be a point and the point is one must lean in especially during those times and not make your carrier secondary with examples of how women have done it. I just picked up the wrong book it seems. In 2005 ,when I attended the Haggai seminar in Singapore ,we were made to draw a point diagram depicting the various areas of my life and I was taken aback to see that my diagram looked like a propeller jet heading towards one direc

The time of refreshing.

Today the preaching at the church was from ACTS 3 vs 1-9,one of my favourite anecdote in all of the bible.Whenever I read this episode it strangely touches me.Apart from the fact that it has some connection to my early childhood in my hometown where the sunday school teacher used to teach us this song and we as little children in all innocence used to sing these songs at the top of our voices,whether in the sunday school or otherwise. The event goes that Peter and John are walking into the temple to preach the word of God and as they cross the gate called 'beautiful'to the temple a lame beggar eyes them and asks them for alms.Peter and John walk upto him and say,'Silver and Gold have I none,what I have I give to you,in the name of Jesus of Nazereth,stand up and walk.'The text says ,the beggar not only stood up and started walking but started jumping and praising the Lord.Further more it says that he clung to Peter and John and all the Jews there started looking at them

Tipping point

Church today was at Dominion with the Hillsong.The preaching was from Nehemiah,a highly inspiring message. 1)Passion is a heart thing. Nehemiah's heart was at the right place.The only qualification that mattered to God was that the heart be at the right place. What does your heart break for?Sometimes it is good to offend the mind,things become clearer. 2)Action is trusting-It takes a lot of trust to act.We are the move of God.We are not born winners or losers but we are born choosers.One thing that keeps us from taking action is the fear of failure and in the real world we do fail but the moment we own our failure ,we own our fear.We are on a mission for God's vision. 3)Sometimes it takes somebody from outside to detect that the walls are broken.For the Israellites,the broken wall was the norm .That was how they had seen it perhaps most of their lifetime.It took a Nehemiah who was outside to see it,weep for it and facilitate the process. We are called to be a Nehemiah for

Strange goodbyes..

Saying goodbye has never been too hard for me. Today I had to say goodbye to someone who was on his way home supposedly to spend the next few days of his life. With all the strange toxins in the blood that would drive a normal person crazy Mr X is unusually alert.The entire time he was in,I had to negotiate with him for every part of his management.Like a kid I had to kneel down before him and sweet talk him into allowing us to do anything at all.Finally when he realised things were serious he relented only to go three steps back and then the negotiations would start all over again.Each time I crossed the room he would give me the sweetest smile from the heart.That coming from a person whose kidney has literally stopped functioning for several days with a background of multi organ compromise is strange to say the least. One fine day he decided he wanted to go home,his children arranged for care at home and he left.Just before going he thanked me for all the care I had given him. Wh


Over the last few days I have been getting this prompting to write about christian persecution. I was not sure why ,today I realise it is the international day of prayer for persecuted christians. I got a message early this morning about how in a village church some fundamentalists had stopped a church service of simple tribal folks but some unknown people had beaten the fundamentalists black and blue. Now the organisation was all out to close down the church.I have visited that simple village.The tribals are dirt poor and suffer from depression,mental illnesses,etc.It was a precarious situation for the goodman's family .Just going around with him was frightening enough he lives amongst the majority caste.His little son in all innocence can be quiet vociferous about his belief.This was the place where I saw an old man working alone to build the church brick by brick with his own hands in his land.That poor tribal man had a vision so big that it could very well touch eternity.I

My sheep will know my voice.....

Today once again the church was beautiful with a report on one of the countries the pastor couple had visited. A tiny country which had an official census of one beleiver in 1951 has around 1-2 million beleivers as of today. The churches are an epitome of new testament churches from the ACTS. 1)Factors that have led to church growth are healing from sickness, 2)rejection of highly binding and superstition filled old religion.They have known the truth and truth has set them free. 3)The drastic changes they see in the lives of the believers. The takeaway lesson they took from the experience was that the Lord is sovereign. While trekking through the mountains and walking close to the Lord the song above brought much comfort to the pastor. We heard the song in the church today. May it be our prayer.


As you travel through life,snapshots of moments hit you as you travel along.You capture it or you let it pass.Somethings are worth reminding oneself of. I have been blessed by parents who have all their lives lived a life of living faith.Their prayers have been a lifeline that has carried them through life.Now when I look back I wonder at their wisdom and the richness of their lives.My mother taught the sunday school and then carried it onwards to teach small kids their first ABCs in the church in the week days when our district had no concept of primary schools.She read us bible stories from small children books and we had our family prayers every night at home.Often you would find dad and mom spontanaeusly share in the course of the day how the Word of the lord reprimended them in a certain course of action.It was never preachy,it was very often shared in a sheepish manner. The other culture my parents cultivated with great care is entertaining missionaries .We had men and women of

Life support

Letting a loved one go is a difficult process. The decision to stop the life support is I guess a harrowing one.The decision mostly lies with the doctor but the patient's kin is taken into consideration before any such step is taken.One Mr X was by his hallucinating wife's bed-side everyday.I was not looking after that patient but one day when I was crossing by ,she cheerfully called out to me and pointed to the window and kept insisting that the child at the window was bugging her.We were on the fourth floor of the window of the only building.When the time came to stop the lifesupport,we were doing the difficult job of explaining things to the husband and he was obviously finding it very difficult to come to a decision.Suddenly one of my senior colleagues explained that he did not have to carry the burden of having made the final decision because the final decision lay with the doctor.The fully grown man just started weeping,in confusion,in relief,in sadness and I am not sure

A prayer.

What is it lord? What is this restlessness? I have not felt this forever. There is a deep,deep pain somewhere, I don't remember hurting anywhere. No bruise,no fall,no nothing and yet this constant pain. Something new, in the arena of my life. I am praying more,I am reading more and I am working less intelligently, I feel. What is it Lord ? this abyss of pain, Does it have a root? It's alien to me , It's not physical, I labelled it spiritual a few weeks back but now I wonder? I hurt and I know not why? O great physician , I come to you as always for your healing from I know not what, as you pour your balm on my hurting soul, Could you please show me where the cut is?

Just thoughts on Flying Lotus....

India's demonetisation demon and the general mood in the country with it's after-effect has AR Rahman compose a musical piece on it.Beautifully haunting it is left to people's interpretation. One of the saddest mistake anyone with a clout of some sort can make is to step over people and think that some weak voices can be ignored and their ideas perpetuated at the discomfort of some people who may not matter very much.The utter disregard for the poor and the weak,the marginalised,the goes on,....Besides one can't say too much about people who egg you on ,who mislead you,encourage you towards this end because the very basic fabric of their ethical stand ,if there is any,is missing,there are no absolutes to stand by. There may be people with good intent,however the company you keep will paint the colour of the house you build. India is a country where Antilla can exist next to the slums.I did not buy a jio simcard. The richness of India lies in it'

All these pieces,broken and scattered...

Today I heard that one of my favourite patients passed away.It left me very sad because she was such a nice and a beautiful person.I attended to her on atleast three of her admissions and she was the gentlest patient,most encouraging and always cheerful,grateful inspite of the difficult life she would have had socially and physically. That is the thing with being posted in the colder wards ,the patients grow on you and before you know they make an impression on your mind. This admission I did not meet her because I was posted elsewhere and I was shocked to hear the news. Every time she was in the hospital in her manifold admissions regardless of where she was ,if I passed by ,we would always greet each other like friends.My stone cold doctor's heart actually hurt to know of her passing away.The world will be poorer by a rich soul eaten away too young by alcohol. There was another incident that struck me today.We had to reveal a tough diagnosis to one person and even as a senior


1.The move was prompted by the spirit of God. 2.Real men facing real questions. 3.Compelled to move out of the comfort zone. 4.They were so compelled that like after the ACTs days they were willing to sacrifice everything for it. 5.As Greg Gilbert puts it,they were standing up for the gospel of Jesus Christ because they had that unshaking belief that it was powered by the God of the universe and the gates of hell could not prevail against it. 6.It was not a wishy washy endeavour.It was clear ,thought out ,compelled by the spirit of God and depended mostly on the grace and revelation of God. 7.They were men and women who were fed up of playing clergy? 8.People who possess the law of God should specially be careful of complacency and dilution for comfort,therefore corruption. 9.They were perhaps individuals who had asked the right questions and had reached the end of themselves.

Lori Sealy - God Moves in a Mysterious Way

'HESSED' Lifestyle.

Today as I walked to the church,I did, with a spiritual burden in my heart and I prayed to the Lord fervently to speak to me.He normally does in this particular church.We had a visiting pastor who continued in the meditation from the book of Ruth. The pastor requested a special song. God moves in mysterious ways-by William Cowper. (John 13 vs 7.) The things we discussed today were - God is in control. Providence is mysterious the decision is from the Lord. Chapter 1-Sorrow Chapter 2-Service Chapter 3-Surrender Chapter 4-Satisfaction God guides Ruth- verse 1-Hidden whisper. verse 3-'As it turned out'-The turning point and the hinge that changes Ruth's life forever. It was Ruth's free choice within the sovereignity of God. Boaz shows kindness to Ruth. verse 7-Glean verse 10-foreigners Difficult place to be and yet the best place to be. God has compassion for the foreigners. verse 20-Hessed.(greek for kindness,goodness,loyalty,generosity..) Verse


The last time I was in England in 2012-2013,England was commemorating 200 years of the freedom from slavery and the legislation that was pushed through by Lord William Wilberforce. This time England is celebrating 500 years of reformation which is officially on the 31st of October but celebration has begun with walks,exhibition ,etc in different parts of London and England.The last sunday I was in Central London so the morning I ran down Anu's flat to the church located literally a few doors away.I realised I was more than half an hour early and it incidentally happened to be a lutherian church.There were a few ladies preparing the room for the service with flowers et,al.I was attracted to the series of exhibition on the wall which commemorated the reformation again.The lady,encouraged me to walk around the room looking at the posters,et all.I did one round of the room and all of the sixty seats in the hall,looked like an exclusive group of Lutherians who seemed to know each other

Living the mandate...

I had some leave in hand after working a hot month where I was doing twelve hour stretch duties night and day.I looked at the holiday brochure and nothing appealed.I decided to google christian retreat centre and that is how I came across Stanton House.I kept my options open but wrote to them.The letter I received was so hands on and had an air of familiarity.Ruth had written back saying they would book a room for me for the days I had asked for if I wanted.It was in a village in Oxford. Stanton house is run by two couples who felt a call from God to run this retreat centre,and it apparently runs full all the year round.We were ministered to by one couple.Ruth is practical,matter of fact and is very efficient and John ,the other half has a sensitivity of a deeply caring man of God.Ruth fed us with wonderful home-cooked meals and John with kindly concern and the word of God in devotions every evening after supper.There were seven of us from different walks of life,I was deeply touche

When Peace Like A River (hymn with words and music) - Horatio G. Spafford

My God,My God......

1.Whenever I want some meat I attend the baptist church,they stick to the scripture and also gives us cues to further reading. Today we started a study on the book of Ruth.I was attending church after two weeks of missing it because of night and day weekend duties.I had forgotten how beautiful it is. We concentrated on the 1st chapter. The first chapter outlines the life of an israellite family of Ebimelech and his wife Ruth and their two sons who leave Bethleham their homeplace and migrate to a pagan land of Moab because there is famine in Bethleham. While in Moab Ebimelech dies.Their two sons marry girls from the foreign land but soon even the two sons die.So the three widows are left to fend for themselves.Naomi hears news about Bethleham being blessed by the Lord again so decides to go back home and she finally does with one of the daughter in law who refuses to leave her and comes back to her land. The learnings on it and the reflections were- God was interested in the si

Rediscovering my love for tea,onions and....

I had heard of many things becoming clearer as we go along in life but age teaches one a lot of things one just used to bustle through and not really give a second thought to in life. I recently discovered my preference of a good tea over coffee when I have gobbled down both all my life.I am not talking about a dhaba tea or the indian chai but a good quality tea leaf brewed well with milk,with or without sugar.It has always been served in my house and yet I never gave it a thought. At home one really is never hard on choices because one is not stretched or challenged to the limit,I firmly believe the joy of something comes through when one has earned it.Life is very different at home. The other thing that has surprised me is the taste of fried onions.I was out for lunch where I had ordered fish and chips and there were multiple choices in an add-on side dish,one of them was fried onions.Now who in India eats fried onions as a side dish?Anyways for the want of a better alternative I

To truly see.

Sisters are such a precious gift from God.I am tripple blessed,I have three.Today is aie Mimi's birthday.Aie Mimie is two years older than me and we have been buddies since the time I remember.I was the younger and so have always had my way with her.She would let me win every race,take precedence in all the games we played as a kid,This day I celebrate her innocence,her prayerful dependance on God as she stewards two little children from difficult backgrounds in a christian upbringing,as she wrestles with the sheer schedule of everyday living teaching her college kids and yet holds all the certificates to her name.She is faithful and comitted in the way she looks after mom and dad,ever mindful of their desires as she takes all the effort to fulfill it in what way she can.I am grateful to God for her. She was the tomboy of the family.Always included in all the adventures my brothers planned out,whether it was hiking,going to the cardomom fields for the yearly survey,running after w

A heartbeat away..

Two things happened this week that made me feel vulnerable.I am known to be a tough cookie otherwise. I have been following the Harvey and the Irma story quite closely and have beem praying with the beleivers since the 1st of September when the Lord put it in my heart. On thursday mprning I found a small paronochia forming in one of my fingers.It was painful but I pushed it to the back of my mind while I continued to work.The second day ,there was pain but it was busy and so I ignored it again.In the morning one of my colleagues insisted I run down to the minors and see someone there ,but I was caught up with the work so ignored it.Towards mid-morning I noticed a reddish track forming along one side of my finger all the way to the back of my hand(Tracking),so I ran down to the minors and registered myself.The nurse practitioner who looked into it was very kind.She put a nick,squeezed out the pus ,put a water proof bandage and gave me enough Flucloxacillin for the next five days and k

Sunday in London thus far.

I booked myself into the summer accomodation ,Prince's garden of the imperial college,comfortable room in the heart of south Kensington ,along the exhibition raod leading to Prince's consort road ,across the road from the science mueseum and the history museum.Hyde park and the Kensington park are five minutes walk along the same path.Amazing location!Breakfast went with the accomodation.A generous english breakfast.Good way to start the day.Met Dreier,a french data analyst who was on a break in the area as well. I spent the morning walking through Hyde park,something I have wanted to do since I landed in the UK.I remembered some bits from my visit earlier.I spent the morning with flowers,ducks,a squirrel,the water and the expanse of green, memorials gallore,psalm 25 in company of a statue of a woman aiming an arrow ,held up by four people with water flowing out all around her and below the chalice that held her is a torch made of cement.It made me think a bit. I walked to my

Extended weekend with a bank holiday.

I remember during my Oddanchattram days,everyday I used to start my day with this song.'One day at a time.'we led a very sheltered life there,everyone extremely caring and looking after each other.The department where I am posted at,has a wonderful set of colleagues.We all have become good friends in a short time but one hardly gets much time because the rotas are made in such a way that we get as much exposure as possible and we keep moving around .How fascinating is it when we actually realise that all of us come from extremely different backgrounds.We are from India,Egypt,Iraq,Zimbabwe and England.In one of the early weeks ,one of the senior consultants gave us a good advice-'take time off to sit and eat lunch together so that you can get to know one another.'was what he said and that advise served us in good stead. Come September I have a hot month whereby I will be doing 12 hours of calls at a stretch and will have a lot of zero days as well.As disorienting as it m

Psalm 115,vs 5

The river Ganges is the most worshipped river in India and yet the havoc and the devastation the river causes every monsoon is unparalleled .Bhupen Hazarika , the assamese singer-writer  in this haunting song has this quetion for the river 'Why are you silent?'Who would understand this better than a person from a state which has faced the fury of the water un-paralleled and has lost lives,stock and livelihood unaccounted for year after year. Another thing that struck me was a picture of a missionary of charity's sister amongst the suffering in the picture.

Oh the love of God.

In beautiful moments of worship with fellow beleivers in my church ,God suddenly brings to mind people and families I have known in my short journey of life and I plead before the almighty for them.This sunday while we were worshipping ,the family that the Lord brought to my mind was Dr Sam and Sarah David.In that moment of communion with God I cried out a prayer from deep within.How the Lord loves them. The portion we studied was from Philipians chapter 3 vs 1-14. Philippians 3:1-14New King James Version (NKJV) All for Christ Finally, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord. For me to write the same things to you is not tedious, but for you it is safe. Beware of dogs, beware of evil workers, beware of the mutilation! 3 For we are the circumcision, who worship God in the Spirit,[a] rejoice in Christ Jesus, and have no confidence in the flesh, 4 though I also might have confidence in the flesh. If anyone else thinks he may have confidence in the flesh, I more so: 5 circumcised the eighth

Remembering the bizzare-this independance day!

Working in the UK especially in the gastro department in the past two weeks I order human albumin to be transfused to patients every brings back sad memories of my time in Lakhnadon in Madhya Pradesh.Every now and then there would be a need for HAS in the hospital with variety of patients trickling in.The administrator in all earnestness would search frantically for it.I never got hold of any during my time there.Once one of the suppliers even offered to get me some in 'black'. The other thing which appalled me to no end was getting blood for transfusion.We had patients coming in with a haemoglobin of 2mg% and each time arranging for transfusion was a mountain of a struggle.Blood transfusion was available in Jabalpur for anything from 1800Rs to Rs 4500 and there were middle men involved.There was a time when one of the patients needed blood so badly and did not have the money required so since Saneesh's (my colleague)blood group matched with the patient concerned

Chewing the cud..

Incidents like the ones that is happening in Gorakhpur are disasters waiting to happen in a country like India where corruption is rampant,and accountability non-existant. Ideally what public should demand is a transparent enquiry into the incident and a look into where the system failed.The right heads need to roll,politicians from the past record are often unable to tell. The systems need to be put in place so that it does not happen again. The incident should not be swept under the carpet ,whether it be the media houses championing the cause or film makers looking to make a film.The idea is to contribute in what way one can to make India better. I am not sure,if life-saving devices like oxygen ,anti-snake venoms,insulin should be monopolised by the private sector.It does sound bizarre that a government medical college was dependant on a private supplier for its oxygen supply.Do I smell a rat here? In the hospital where I worked in central India,oxygen used to be a major issue.T

A song -inspired by the psalms.

I will praise You Father Flourish in worship like an olive tree in the house of God. I trust in God's unfailing love forever and ever I will hope in Your name for Your name is good. I will praise You Lord Jesus will always love You my life is Yours, for what You have done. For from the Son comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly my heartfelt song ,sublime and pure. I praise You Holy Spirit always adore You welcome You for who You are. For You sweet Counseller keep my lamp burning You make known to me the path of life. I glorify You Holy trinity my true home forever more for You fill me with the joy of Your presence with eternal purpose at Your right hand.

Lord Jesus lead us.

What a gentle spirit the spirit of the Lord is. Today we had a challenging message in the church.It was from Philipians 1 vs 12 to 14.'Now ,I want you to know brothers.....that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel....' Paul's cry runs on through generations of martyrs unheard,unsung ,unknown but very dear to the heavens and our Lord. Vs 27 is a beautiful direction Paul gives for the believers,'Whatever happens ,conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of gospel of Christ....'This is where most of us fail.As soon as circumstances start becoming to the contrary,our flesh takes over. As the pastor said 'God over-rules our circumstances for the gospel to be preached and proclaimed'. We looked at great examples from the bible of the lives of people whose lives regardless of where it was, was over-ruled by God for His glory...Paul,Joseph,Daniel,and the list goes on. We also saw a clipping on the life of Polycarpus,a martyr,the bishop

New day,a new way.

Middle of this week I changed over to gastro.It is an entirely new way of functioning but so far seems to be a much healthier option.The two months in acute medicine I got thoroughly bushed.The last but oneday I was seeing patients till eight at night.Somehow I seem to have made it over the week to the weekend.I have two whole days to rest.Thank God for that.I find working hours a lot tougher this time through.The roaster also seems kind of crazy,much like the third world ,the concept of rest put to the edge and a lot of people seem to be on the often has to repeat requests slowly and twice before one realises that one has been a bit abrupt.It is all a learning process. Meeting new people,adjusting to their idiosyncracies,getting to know them...interesting because in these times in the UK one finds people from all sorts of community and colour,getting to know them,making friends,it is interesting.From Monday ,most of the team in gastro is going to be new,so we are more or les

Just stop .

Making an informed choice during growing up years is a huge upward struggle.Most of the decisions one makes is almost in a state of panic ,atleast mine was.Till I was in my school,decisions were made for me.My idea of what was good and bad were very heavily coloured by our teacher's lenses.There was no questioning the order. when one graduates from school to college,unless one comes across great souls that mentor you the peers take you along in a different journey.I thankfully escaped this phase I think because I studied in good old Bengal. Our medical college days were spent in a haze of ghugnis,rickshaws,formalin,our straight-jacket teachers,and poetries,it was almost surreal,the entire period. During my post-graduate days in Oddanchattram I learnt to think for myself.My teacher's advice just stop and think,reflect, took me in good stead and it is perhaps one of the many precious legacies I have carried with me and still blesses me.I have learnt just how precious and valu

Mourning with a friend.

My friend Primula put up a message in our whatssapp group.It was a one liner.'My father just passed away.' This was the ex-chief minister of Sikkim she was talking about.Felt very sad. Primula was my friend from my school days.We all studied in Tashi Namgyal Academy ,the only public school in Sikkim which was originally meant for the royal children and later went on to become an autonomous body. We were borders away from home in the capital ,Gangtok. Primula was the chief minister's daughter but was the most humble of the lot.She was very caring and concerned about all her friends especially the hostellers.Every now and then huge packet of tucks would come our way and she never forgot our birthdays.I still have a small saving safe marked with orange pen ,a gift from her.Every year on her birthday we were invited to the chief minister's residence to celebrate it with her family.It was a happy affair with the CM himself making it a point to meet us and her mother ,the

A saturday in Arsenal.

Last sunday when I was at the Dominion theatre attending a hillsong London church they mentioned the Just one conference at Arsenal.There was an invite to join the one thousand choir as part of the hillsong team.I booked myself in for the conference because I was off work on saturday besides Matt Reddmann whose worship songs have been such a blessing was supposed to be leading the worship.It was organised and compered by John J and his family.I for one had never heard of John J but the week before the conference I sat and listened to a lot of his messages on the youtube. It was a joy to see so many people heading towards the stadium.Arsenal stadium was a grand affair,immediately thought of my brother who is very keen on watching a live match in the stadium when he comes over.I believe there was a crowd of twenty three thousand people.It was a happy saturday with people of every kind everywhere around. The worship was led by Matt Reddman,hillsong,London community gospel choir,Noel Rob

A gift of tears.

I was surprised other day with brokenness in one of my patients which crossed the lines of my belief and faith.My first instinctive response was immediate slamming of the door silently in my mind,and then suddenly a flood of compassion came over me ,such compassion ..that broke my heart.I understood little the heart of God..and the heart of Jesus...thank God for the Lord's grace on judgemental smugs like me. Every day the outpatient is a treasure box ..refugees come for a better life..sick in a foreign land,mothers with disabled children-carers,overworked, bankrupt emotionally ,wives of husbands working abroad,frightened to be alone to face the struggles,divorced women from conservative backgrounds making do somehow,homosexuals frightened of what tomorrow might bring..the list is endless. The compassion that God gifts us is perhaps the most precious gift God can give us ,a heart that breaks and weeps with the broken world around. If I don't have that I might as well be dead.

Ups and downs.

I have had an absolutely sleepy saturday today.I was drowsy throughout,I literally had to pick myself up and walk down to TESCOs the long way to buy some food but mostly to give myself some exercise.I am waiting for my laundry so I thought I would let some thoughts at the back of my mind just seep out.There is chill in the air outside and I have hayfever.I can go the whole year round with it in this country and my patients tell me this is common. Today early in the morning my cousin sent me a single line message ,'S is nomore'.I felt sad.Now how do I know S?One day out of the blue I got a desperate phone call from my cousin.A friend of hers from school who had been instrumental in supporting her baby steps into Australia had suddenly out of the blue been diagnosed to have GB ca.She was young ,may be in her late thirties,looked younger,sensible ,hard working .She wanted to know the prognosis.Looking at the staging and the extent of the disease it did not look good.SO the parent