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Showing posts from 2021

Message for Mangan Church on 21st November 2021.

 Revelation 3 vs 14 and 15- 14  “To the angel of the church in Laodicea   write: 'These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God’s creation.   15  I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other!   16  So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.' Laodacia apparenlty had two sources of water.

Her Confusion...

              One morning the old lady who is a destitute of sort and works half a day in our house entered our premises grumbling .She had had her second covidvaccination and had received her certificate but ofcourse she would not express her confusion to the team doing the vaccination, With the certificate in hand she walked down the hill ,into the gate and expressed her discontent to my mother. She could not understand how the office who had issued the certificate had given her a certificate with some other man's photograph in it. My mother who was clearly busy with the process of making lunch asked one of the girls to attend to her complaint.She came back smiling from ear to ear. It was Mr Modi's photograph in the certificate.She had a time explaining to the old lady how it worked.

'The Master's piece'.A post from the yore...ten years back-drafted not posted.

The rythem of the art Dancing to the rythem of the heart, In serenpidity, The world has a name for it- They call it the master-piece. I call it the Master’s piece- Chanced upon by senses Tuned to the rythem…… The beauty,edification and the very lilt.. Paying tribute to the Maestro From whom all of creation flows.


                                                      Tokchi  phurnun Yeshu rum ka                Kususa sum long nun                           Don lyang ,  dendri lyang  hodo lyang Manintho asar lyang-2 Gojunbu zen bu kyong bu Sah tean ka ado sa acheyrey Layo lasong num yah non bo Muro ka ado sa acheyrey. Tokchi  phurnun Yeshu rum ka                Kususa sum long nun                           Don lyang ,  dendri lyang  hodo lyang Manintho asar lyang-2 Layo na maat ba faatnon boo Tha bo adu s akum dun long Punjong sayou ka bhram Boo non boo jong ado sa Kum dun loam Tokchi  phurnun Yeshu rum ka                Kususa sum long nun                           Don lyang ,  dendri lyang  hodo lyang Manintho asar lyang-2 Kasue sa dokbu jong Kayue sa dokbu ho nula Do ado amek ka Penjang sa akue loam lan Kursong nuh la do ho kayu deb deb ka . Tokchi  phurnun Yeshu rum ka                Kususa sum long nun                           Don lyang ,  dendri lyang  hodo lyang

Afghanistan...our children are praying for you.

Praying for Afghanistan is one thing but knowing what to pray for is entirely another thing.In this world where nothing seems to be what it should be and everything is perceived through the coloured lens of the rich ,the powerful  and sometimes twisted,one can only groan with the spirit and ask the Lord to lead us to make the prayers after His own heart.Having said that ,we need to pray for believers in Afghanistan. Whilst in our family prayer ,where the children have been learning from the gospel of John and has just finished the discourse between the samaritan woman and Lord Jesus some weeks back and Lord Jesus talks about the times when ' true believers will worship the Lord in Spirit and in Truth.'....yesterday while praying my sister was deeply burdened  to pray for Afghanistan.I just realised how cold my heart had become and yet how compassionate and kind the Spirit of the Lord was.he is able to get through the boundaries,distances,walls borders,jails,to unction and lead

Getting on my feet.

I am getting a hang of my violen ,not only did I realise I wasn't rosening my violen enough ,I was also trying too hard .As the sound started coming I am slowly flowing with the ebb and flow and getting the hang of the instrument.One knows when one is getting it and I did ,this afternoon.I have folded it for the day. As a way of conversation I told my sister where I am at with the instrument and she volunteered an information,'Isn't violen known as the queen of instruments?'Ofcourse I immediately googled and found that piano is the king of instruments and there seems to be a bit of competition for the queen's crown...the organ seems to be the favourite. I also got my dancing feet back .Chris Tomlin's 'God's great dance floor' is quite the morning pick me up song.I remember several years ago watching it live in the O2 arena in London.I just could not get myself to get my feet moving then. I am also digging my heels into 'Ootie preserved'by Mol

Photograph and memories..

 I have bought myself a violen and am learning the art of learning things from the beginning.I remember just holding one of the youngster's violen in Mumbai and trying to produce some kind of sound.Much to my chagrin not a single sound came out.I had that fear when I started off with a brand new violen ,'the all too happy to see a customer', music enthusiast handed over to me when I visited the shop in between the lockdown. My sister bought a guitar for her wards,so I had the added responsibility to teach them some guitar which I dutifully did by using the you-tube. When I sat back to assimilate my music I had to work on it quiete meticulously.The bow was made of real horse hair ,not sure how they get hold of it.Everyday I am learning to put the pieces together in parts.I have been rosening my violen dutifully and have started getting some kind of sound.Everyday is a discipline and I will get there someday,till then I have something to strive to.To be fair my maternal grand

Cullen's sign....virchow's gland and calcified pericardium..

Has been an interesting one month.I am getting to see some text book cases which I have never seen in my twenty years of practise. The other day I saw a lady who had a palpable Virchow's gland with Cullen's sign .She has been sent for lymph node biopsy and a CT Chest and abdomen. The lady had been admitted with very severe jaundice and altered sensorium but turned out to have Scrub typhus .She responded well to Doxycycline.The jaundice cleared and she hop-skipped into the OPD for a review.She was eating well and looking well so I thought I would have a quick lookover although she was asymptomatic.I had suspected something may be amiss while she was admitted and had requested a colleague to do an USG since her jaundice was predominantly direct hyperbilirubinemia .It did not flag a concern but this morning I decided to review the case in detail before I gave her a thumbs up sign and there it was two sinister looking markers defying all clinical status.It was my first Cullen's

He will hold me fast -...

 It has been a month now since I joined the government service as a physician .This is my home-town.I am slowly but gradually getting to meet all the old people and new.It has been an interesting esteemed collegues have been kind enough to fill in in the aberrations that seem to surround the cases that I see here.There is Molly my dermatologist friend who never fails to support me with dermatology consults, Dr Augustine supports me with cardiology consults,Dr Santosh ,Dr Ashita ,Dr Hansdak and one time I even called up Roshine in Makunda to find out if she had seen a case of a herb-poisoning.AIIMS narcotic cell seemed clueless. I see a lot of alcohol related problems..encephalopathy,variceal bleed,withdrawal,fatty liver .I have seen a few freak constrictive pericardites with calcified pericardium,scrub typhus,IHDs,large number of Gout,RA ,NCDs,SLE,probable AAA,cardiomyopathies and the list goes on. I am doing my own bit of helping out by continuing to help my juniors back in K

My charger..thanks to my neighbour who ordered it for me.

  It has been almost a month since I started work from home.Working from home and at home is a totally different cup of tea,I watch my fragile mother hobble around and I get a tug in my chest somewhere at the thought of having to leave her and get back to what I have to get back to and suddenly I feel a sense of relief when the understanding sinks in that I don't have to get back to anything.So I try to spend time with her as safely as I can in between my hospital work.It is lovely watching her creativity at work as she enjoys her gardening ,creating dresses for my sister,kitchen towels designed for comfort. Julie ,the labrador is a new addition to our family .She is an intelligent creature that craves human contact.If she knoiws she is going to be shut out from the room she will leave her meal half way and come running towards us.and stay put.Every meal has to be shared with her.I settled with my queen cake and a cup of tea on a chair after a much deserved run to the hospital to s


Varanasi airport has always supplied me with some good books.This time round I found two,one of which I am yet to open.''There's Gunpowder in the air 'by Manoranjan Byapari which was originally written in Bengali but translated to english by Arunava Sinha and the second is ,'The Marigold story',Indira Gnadhi and others, by Kum Kum Chadha.The airlines person called me away to check my guitar case because they could not figure out what a capo was in the pocket of the case.My short flight to Delhi was uneventful. The flight from Delhi to Guhawati was like a lot of flights in my life,'moving with the flow'.The airhostesses were very kind to give me a whole aisle of front row seats which were unoccupied so I had a lot of leg-room,a seat to keep my handbag and the comfort to muse with the clouds and the lights below. I watched the fascinating view of the clouds from above through rain ,lightening, twilight and the night. The lights when viewed from above had s

Worship the Lord with gladness....

Psalm 100- “Worship the Lord with gladness ,come before Him with joyful songs.” It had been a dry winter.The pond in front of our hospital dried out .Everyday the ducks would dutifully come out from their shed,walk up to the place where the pond should have been and would graze around. The first shower of the monsoon came down heavily overnight.When we walked to the hospital we saw that the pond had rapidly filled up.We saw the band of ducks waddle it’s way down the hill to the pond and get into the water like it was business as usual.Some of them continued to peck at the dirt by the side. There was a white swan amongst them who was distinct.As soon as it touched base on water ,it spread it’s wings and went into a flurry of dance like movement,it dove deep into the water came back up ,spread it’s wings   and just enjoyed the water oblivious to everything   even as we watched, fascinated. It painted in my mind’s eye the picture of King David dancing before the arc of God, wors

Who made the Bear, Orien.....

  Job 9 vs 9 ‘Who made the Bear,Orien and the Plaides,and the chambers of the south?’   During the Covid pandemic ,even as we struggled, we came face to face with our limitations as a doctor. I had never seen the kind of suffering,confusion and desperation.   As the pandemic raged on,I keenly observed the stark contrast between what was going on all around and the pace of nature. Each morning I would take time to lurk in the garden .The birds would be singing ,busybodies flitting around,squirrels would scamper around leisurely nibbling bits and pieces from the ground.The flowers in different colours would boldly bloom unapologetically.The mango trees ,laden with fruit would bend over with abundance of fruit.The Mogra tree in full bloom would beam with resplendent joy. I would take in everything with a heart full of gratitude to the Father who lovingly created it ,timed to perfection ,in perfect harmony, before venturing out into the dark confusion of the pandemic world. I

Difficult times this.....

 They were an elderly couple and every month they came to me for their diabetic medication. Like a lot of my regulars I tried to make their time in the outpatient as simple as possible.Recognising them by sight,I would cut the line because of their age and the familiarity of their medical problem to hurry things for them.They had a lot of questions but they continued to come to us beyond my absence of six months during the covid lockdown.One day I saw them after a gap of one month and I found that Achala had lost a significant weight.Her diabetes was well controlled so I started digging further and found that she had had a bad bout of loose stools.Clinical examination did not show any pointers for concern so I decided to keep a watch on her weight. Each time she came to us her weight was the first thing I would check and the husband would be all ears and demanding to know how it was going.She gained back what she had lost.Whenever she weighed herself she would beam at me with relief. T

Just Listening.....

All of eighty and delirious ,the old Pandit shuflled for his Janeu(Sacred ceremonial thread according to hinduism which the brahmins tie around their person).Two devoted sons tried to wrestle him down to his bed.He had a diaper on ,and a catheter but was insisting deliriously that he wanted to use the toilet.Suddenly he picked up his thread and put two loops around his ear.The sons interpreted that he wanted to pass stool.This was a learning for us. Another time another man in his eighty came in screaming with chest pain.He had extensive anterior wall MI .My junior colleague managed him well.His ST elevation had reverted ,his pulse rate was well controlled and he was comfortably seated by the time we saw him for the morning rounds.By the afternoon he complained of chest pain and then went into a supraventricular tachycardia but his hemodynamics held, so we medically managed him.He was by nature a comfortable man.He shared that he was ready to die.We got talking to him one afternoon.He

There is a balm in Gileod

Balm of Gileod.....

 It was a busy OPD and and as always I enjoy talking to my patients . 'A' entered the OPD talking loudly with an elderly woman.A bright woman obviously educated came in with some vague complaints.She was from Delhi but had ventured into town recently and kept asking me relevent questions.However ,I found that she was tiptoeing around certain health issues and not dealing with it as one would expect. Certain senior doctors run this trust where they do hysterectomies for ladies free of cost.I was talking to the said doctor and she told me about a cause of distress and shame uterine prolapse was to ladies from a rural setting so she along with her husband had decided to raise money to do the surgeries free of cost. A lot of our patients have benefitted from the scheme.I examined the  lady and got out a history that she had a rectal prolapse and had had it since childhood.I was a little taken aback that she had done nothing about it.Suddenly she just broke down and burst out about

The joys of being on the other side.

It was an ordinary day in the clinic .I saw a family who stood out stark.My heart jumped with joy to see them. Not that I knew them personally, but when they come to the hospital on their own it makes our day. These are our friends from the  Musahir  bastis sprinkled around Majhwa.I had seen Mari a few weeks back. She just strolled into the hospital ,informed us that she had completed the anti-tubercular medicine at the block and wanted a chest X-ray done.I could not understand the reason and so instructed someone to ask her to get her final sputum checked at the block which would be enough to deem her cured. Three weeks later she was back with another family in the tow and again demanded a CXR off one of my junior colleagues who wheedled out a history of amenorrhoea from her.She turned out to be pregnant so naturally could not get a CXR done.My colleague got out another important information from her.She wanted the CXR to declare herself cured  in the block hospital so that she could


  Sheer resilliance   of the people of India beats me. One of my younger colleagues was telling me about a beggar in Varanasi who sits outside one of the bigger temples and has educated his children so well that one of them is an IAS officer and all his children are doing well but he continues to beg outside the temple .When asked the reason for still continuing to beg , he says that he had earned his livelihood and had educated his children through begging and so he was going to continue to beg for the rest of his life   I am not sure how to respond to that. In the intricate nooks and corners of the villages in UP one hardly sees good houses.Yet out of these hardy villages where the carpet weavers,daily labourers,the out-caste,the differently abled,the high castes live separated by the boundaries of generations ,are sprinkled highly educated daughter-in-laws   hidden behind the curtains of tradition.Meeta tells me she is a doctrate with a PHD but she is a daughter in law so does n

The wires in my brain...

Mr P came to the outpatient with a diabetic wife who had chest pain but was stable then. He got around talking about his life.He had missed the govenrment pension and was bemoaning his plight.He had worked all his life in the national jute mill in Kolkotta .When Mr Ramnath Goenka died the  mill spiralled downhill.The government of West Bengal under Mr Basu had to take over  but it was not working , they decided to shut it down. The livelihood  of the thirty thousand workers were at stake ,I suspect mostly from the heartland, Mrs Gandhi had to intervene and the central government apparently took over the running of the mill. In the mean time Mr P retired.The mill ran under the central government leadership for another half a decade after the which the government gave  VRS to all the employees and shut down the mill for good.Mr  P however missed the bus so did not become eligible for the government pension .He is left with memories and the bitter  taste of a missed bus and occassional so

How do you view the world around?

 This is a post long overdue.I promised Evelyn I would write this a month ago but somehow the connect between the pen and the thought process did not come through easily so I conveniently pushed it back somewhere in a file in the grey matter.Today I was reminded, so here it is. I am not too passionate about rabbits.I know them as creatures which have a reputation of eating up the area where they reside...apparently nothing grows around them so I am wary because if there is one thing that can bring a deep seated joy in my heart it is plants and the flowers especially in the wild. I find rabbits dumb and not particularly special to look at.The only time it had me involved  was on a cold Satbarwa winter in Wendy's stew.It was my first and perhaps the last . So I was not too excited to see the creatures cohabit the paraphenalia in one of the old garages in the campus.I looked at it from a distance and enjoyed the roses more than it's neighbour. One day I saw our little friend Danie


 Laxman came to us at the middle of the night huffing and puffing.He belongs to the local tribal community.He did not have an iota of money on his person.He had this abscess in the chest wall with Empyema on the same side.He basically had empyema necessittans and we did not know where it extended.He had been all over the place for more than a month. We requested the local radiology to do a HRCT of the chest for fifty percent of the charge which they promptly agreed to do.As expected he had empyema necessitans and better stil, it had extended all the way to the diaphragm and the heart. By the time he came back with the CT he was huffing and puffing.It would be fair to say we put in a needle twice but just drew blood which made me a little nervous about putting in a chest tube blindly. Once we had a HRCT in hand we advised the relatives to travel a little further  to the prestigious BHU where he would probably need a thoracoscopy but ofcourse they refused. We did an open thoracotomy and

Pieces of myself.

 Do I have something to say-Nah...I am too busy trying to live my life. The Sikkim government has just announced the vaccines.I finished watching the movie 'Seven years in  Tibet'. Strngely nostalgic and a sad movie. Watched it from a distance even as I tried to find a small part of my root in those closed forbidden  terrains,although Pharidjong where my paternal grandmother came from was lower down near the  Bhutanese kingdom I understand. I try to look at my grandmother through my mother's eyes. I asked her questions gallore.My mother a young bride from a christian and a mixed background  marrying into a family with a matriach who was a tibetain nobility from a very rich budhist culture. I wondered how they got on woman to woman.My mother does not have any bad memories of her  mother-in-law. I get the picture of a very classy woman who never had a harsh word to say about her  and loved her and vice versa.My mother talks about the last days when her mother-in law came over