It seems like a lifetime is gone.

Everything has changed in the last two months.My personal walk with the lord has a sense of urgency.I cannot compromise on it because it is not just me anymore.Lives of 110 families inside the campus and lakhs outside the campus is entwined with mine.
The other day I raised my hands up and told my junior how unfair it was that I was to be accountable for the lives of 110 fully grown adults.He laughed at me and the next moment I realised that I was taking things in my own hand.I had forgotten that I was just standing in the gap it was the holy spirit who would do the perfect work through me.
I have realised over the days that the lord wants me to depend on Him alone so there I go in my dramatic way cutting off people's counsel in every which ways.
I am expectantly waiting for the lord to do His perfect work.
There are people I know who are praying for us but what could be more important than our own relationship with the lord.
People have come and gone from the campus.Some have left behind a lot of memories .My commitment as of now is for two years.Somewhere out of the blue Gaurav asks-Madem,what will you do then?I say I don't know and I mean it.

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Image of Christ.

There is nothing more scarier than a heart that has hardened .I was talking to Mary the other day,infact weeping with her There is a deep restlessnessness inside.Thank God for it becuase it shows that I have not resigned myself to the way things are.I was telling her I miss the deep experience of seeing the image of Christ and the compassion of the Holy spirit which just used to overwhelm my heart when I saw the image of Christ in people ,situation and the creation. What is the image of Christ?It is a body marred and maimed to bear the sin of the world.it is a voice that did not speak in protest against God the father,who actually planned it all before the creation of the world,not against the people who maimed Him ,flogged Him,drove the nails into His hands and feet to satisfy their sinful nature.The image of Christ is a body broken to the utmost yet given to feed the very same people .It is a love that did not count the cost. I am a person who does not put too much v...

A self retreat.

The last week of January I have started camping out in my construction site with a manuel which reads the King's James version of Holy bible.I thought I would take time to just quieten myself .I am getting a peek into the family who looks after my land.The construction is moving at rapid pace.I pray that it will beat the monsoons this year.If the Lord wills it I hope to do the first floor as well in this sitting.It requires a lot of prayer for the plan and the design and occupancy thereafter. As you can see there is a significant progress.I am here for till the month end.The first night my two little nephews and my cousin decided to rough it out with me.It was quite interesting having them around. The early morning view of the mountains are what I am hoping to catch.It can be breathtaking in December and we are still towards the end of winter so I should be able to enjoy it.The first night was a learning experience with princess and the pea experience.Second nigh onwards I have ha...

Till I finally reach Home...

I have made some sort of trend to do one solid thing every year of my life in Mangan post-EHA and un-beknowest I seem to have a knack for doing things almost subconciously. I learnt driving,started the dialysis unit,learning violen,built my building..atleast half is done....opened a shop and this season I could deliver christmas cakes for sale to various families .It kept me busy and occupied. Each cake was a labour intensive but absorbing work.Almost like painting. Here is the result. I realise I delivered 11 cakes this season.But there is this restlessness again ....someday I will be home and I will rest.....till then..I am on the lookout for the next project,

What gives

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