Skip to main content

The Anaesthesia!

I walked into the OT at 11.30 AM ,asked for the gown and got ready .Sister Emil with eyes big open caught my hand and said -'for you Dr.ji?'
Suman came in and sat quietly by my table before the hustle and bustle of the OT started.Suman was at my head continuosly stroking my hair.I.V.cannula inserted, all of a sudden Sushma and sister Toppo emerged, so much for doing the procedure on the quiet.Sushma prayed a sweet short prayer and Sishir got down to it.Tried with LA,apparently the tumour was big so the last I remember Sishir asking Suman to give some Midazolam and then after that I passed out.....to emerge into the ketamine haze.......I was watching the whole procedure from a mystical cloud,could hear every word the surgeon was speaking...every word the nurses were saying but it was in another setting ...another place....another time totally....I remember thinking to myself...what is this state I am in....where I have no say in what is to happen to me,someone else seem to be deciding totally what is to happen to me.....I felt trapped...I felt bewildered..I wondered ..am I dead already...will i come back to the real world....or will I pass out totally and never get back??...am I dying....it went on and on...I could feel Suman's hand on my head..stroking....I could see Sandhya moving around passing sutures....but everything was afar and a blurry....slowly ..must have been around two hours.....I started feeling a semblance of orientation and I started praying and praying and praising intensely...I saw the face of christ imprinted in my conciousness......it was peaceful .....it was a beautiful feeling ....slowly the face of Christ changed into the face of my pain ....the peace remained...utter peace and then I started sobbing......sobbing hard between the ebb and flow of anesthesia effect,I could hear Suman gently asking me Drji,why are you crying?Is it paining.....over and over again....I honestly did not have an answer.....paining means a hurt.....I just felt at peace-I felt relieved!!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Feet in the water.

  Fifteen days of earned leave after working for two years,I was praying in a house group prayer and worship and pleading with the Lord to show me something ,when it was not forthcoming I surrendered to the Lord and prayed let your will be done and then I saw the Lord walking up a winding road and deep in my spirit I knew He was calling me to follow Him .I did not know where to but I thanked the Lord and said yes. I have been living more in the unseen world than the seen world. Suddenly out of the blue I received a message from Dr Arpit asking me to replace them in Madhipura  for a  fortnight. I needed to go because things were getting a little intense and I needed sometime to step back and mull some things over. I had no idea why the Lord was taking me back to the old world of EHA , mission hospitals and friends from the yore. Travelling to Madhipura , I  continnued to ask the Lord, 'Why this road? I had no idea why I was going  where I was going.I am glad I came because I could r

night-hunting.

 Monda suggested  we go  hunting. Dressed up to beat the rains and the unpredictable weather we ventured out at night with the two Dawas. Annie had baked a cake for Rumpanol.It started  pouring in spurts but nothing could beat the enthusiasm.The junior Dawa was to drive us to a place around fifteen kilometres up the north Sikkim highway.We would come across three rivulets of sort where we could possibly find the edible frog.The senior Dawa was already at the spot making a pathway in the jungle for us to proceed. We reached the spot at around eight at night.in the pitch dark one could hear the sound of frogs of all variety and we started seeing quite a few but none of edible variety.We shuffled around in the rain with an umbrella,raincoat and torches like Nancy drew exploring the grasses and having eye contacts with stunned frogs which seemed to have lost the ability to run .The two boys did a Tarzen and was lost in the jungle with a sling bag ,a torch sans any cover from the rain.While

Thank you.

 After almost five months of struggling with the nitty gritties the dialysis unit opened last week. We were able to dialyse our set of first three patients over the last few days. So much of effort,dissapointments ,struggles,joys and most importantly prayers have gone into the venture.Many who will never see the fruit of their prayers have invested their prayers into it. The day it started with many apprehension I was praying at the early morning hour and put my head on the pillow to rest and then just as I was about to sleep I saw a vision of Jesus on His knees interceding.That is how much my Lord cares for us and this morning while listening to Alistair I realised that He deals with us like a father does a five year old .That is how He sees us. Lord Jesus ,you are the crown on my head and the only thing I can take pride in.