Skip to main content

Boundaries!




Sitabai (name changed )has been working with us since the founder’s time.Her dedication ,sincerity and efficicency is matchless.I have watched Sitabai excel in her work and yet have been almost a silent spectator to the family struggle she flaps around with.Her husband ,a ganja addict and an alcoholic has been to all eyes a thorn on her side.He has not earned a penny to my knowledge but has been a steady siphon sucking out all her savings on imagined and actual ailments,thanks to the bad habbits.


Every now and then Sitabai used to update us about her hubby’s headaches.It used to keep the entire family awake.Much to our chagrin she would take prescription analgesics and as would have it one fine day he started developing abdominal pain.

He perforated and presented with a serum potassium of 6.5 .We reffered him to a hospital in Jabalpur where he had a laparotomy.Fourteen days into the surgery he was still pouring out pus fro m the wound.

One day I took Sita Bai aside to alert her to the fact that her husband had not had a single day of headache the entire time he had been engrossed in the new ailment.Even as we did the dressing for him I observed Sita Bai and the loving way she treated her husband, like a little child ,even as he groaned while the dressing was on.

It set me thinking hard.What had he done in his life to deserve the loyalty,the love and everything that was being put into his life then.We owed him nothing but we owed Sita Bai everything we were doing because she deserved it and it was part of her staff benefit,but her husband….

Was there an issue about boundaries as far as Sita Bai was concerned because of which she was having to suffer all her life.The community she comes from ,there are no ‘till death do us apart’ vows.

I am reading a book on ‘Boundaries’.

It talks about the illustration of the good samaritan.

The questions raised in it was what if the wounded man had begged the good samaritan not to leave him at the hands of the other strangers but to stay with him till he got better?

It says ,perchance the good samaritan complied to the wishes of the wounded man,his business would have suffered and deep within the resentment at having missed out on his business would stay with him.

Sita Bai defies all this logic.She suffers with her husband in this pain,she suffered with him in his headaches,she suffered through his addictions and wayward ways,but at the work front she continues to excell.

I am at a loss to come to conclusions.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Feet in the water.

  Fifteen days of earned leave after working for two years,I was praying in a house group prayer and worship and pleading with the Lord to show me something ,when it was not forthcoming I surrendered to the Lord and prayed let your will be done and then I saw the Lord walking up a winding road and deep in my spirit I knew He was calling me to follow Him .I did not know where to but I thanked the Lord and said yes. I have been living more in the unseen world than the seen world. Suddenly out of the blue I received a message from Dr Arpit asking me to replace them in Madhipura  for a  fortnight. I needed to go because things were getting a little intense and I needed sometime to step back and mull some things over. I had no idea why the Lord was taking me back to the old world of EHA , mission hospitals and friends from the yore. Travelling to Madhipura , I  continnued to ask the Lord, 'Why this road? I had no idea why I was going  where I was going.I am glad I came because I could r
Post a Comment
Read more

night-hunting.

 Monda suggested  we go  hunting. Dressed up to beat the rains and the unpredictable weather we ventured out at night with the two Dawas. Annie had baked a cake for Rumpanol.It started  pouring in spurts but nothing could beat the enthusiasm.The junior Dawa was to drive us to a place around fifteen kilometres up the north Sikkim highway.We would come across three rivulets of sort where we could possibly find the edible frog.The senior Dawa was already at the spot making a pathway in the jungle for us to proceed. We reached the spot at around eight at night.in the pitch dark one could hear the sound of frogs of all variety and we started seeing quite a few but none of edible variety.We shuffled around in the rain with an umbrella,raincoat and torches like Nancy drew exploring the grasses and having eye contacts with stunned frogs which seemed to have lost the ability to run .The two boys did a Tarzen and was lost in the jungle with a sling bag ,a torch sans any cover from the rain.While
Post a Comment
Read more

Thank you.

 After almost five months of struggling with the nitty gritties the dialysis unit opened last week. We were able to dialyse our set of first three patients over the last few days. So much of effort,dissapointments ,struggles,joys and most importantly prayers have gone into the venture.Many who will never see the fruit of their prayers have invested their prayers into it. The day it started with many apprehension I was praying at the early morning hour and put my head on the pillow to rest and then just as I was about to sleep I saw a vision of Jesus on His knees interceding.That is how much my Lord cares for us and this morning while listening to Alistair I realised that He deals with us like a father does a five year old .That is how He sees us. Lord Jesus ,you are the crown on my head and the only thing I can take pride in.
Post a Comment
Read more