What gives

"Samay cha samay cha bhandai thiyye, Thaha napayi tyo saal biti gayo, abha tyo saal lai bida garao, ani pasi jao naya saalai ma, hidna lai ishwar ko agwai ma....." Translated reads- "We kept saying there is time..... Unaware,the year has gone by,, Let us bid farewell to the year gone by, and enter the new year, to walk according to the Lord's leading......" Amazingly simple song ,i have heard it every year,sung sweetly by the faithful local church .........every year the people I associate with the song become fewer in number.Every year I listen to it with a totally different heart,it always touches me to see the eagerness of the old faithfuls who have lived the song faithfully all their lives. May it be my prayer for the new year...and a resolution too.

Pastor Paris Lepcha is an original Lepcha from the village of Ringhem in North Sikkim.He is the assistant pastor in our local church.The north of Sikkim has a history of christianity which runs to the 1800s when the first missionaries set foot on the soil ,most of them with their eyes fixed on the tough tibetain plateau .The first christian convert in the north of Sikkim was from the village of Rimghem,in and around 1854,an old Lepcha couple who remained a christian in their lifetime but somehow could not pass it on to the generations that followed. My father rightly observed that hundred years hence, Ringhem has it's second convert and that is pastor Paris Lepcha and his brothers.That is what makes them special.He is an assistant pastor to Rev.Jonathan Lepcha ,who took over the baton from my grandfather. Mangan Local church has developed over the years from being a small local congregation to a church which already has branches in four other places in the North of Sikkim and i...

Was wondering what I had let myself in for when I agreed to spend four days of my short Christmas holidays in Bhutan with my family in exchange for the haven called home.Mymother,sister and my aunt picked me up in Baghdogra for a night of halt at Sikkim house in Siliguri.We mentally geared up for the travel to Bhutan ,a country so close in distance to India and in culture to the land of Sikkim which has a history of matrimonial alliances with the country amongst the royalties then. Phunstoling was a four hour’s drive from Siliguri .We crossed Doars,a stretch of tea estates,Binaguri,where an uncle of mine had been posted as an army officer long back,Jalgaon,a border of sorts infamous for giving shelter to the dissidents from either side of the border.Incidently,it also had a historical connection to my family.My great grandfather,had apparently been a missionary in the area.I heard it for the first time from my sister.Just prior to reaching Jalgaon we lost time about a kilometre t...

Zaccheaus was a classical example of a person tied around in knots ,in a bondage of sin and judgement.Someone who,so to say,would never qualify to be a friend of God.He was a short man in the physical sense.He was perhaps a doer.He wanted to see Jesus.It looked nigh impossible,being crowded out by the crowd who were all over. The same nature that wanted to profit out of the situation he had been placed in by cheating his countrymen might have been the nature that brought salvation into his life. He had to see Jesus and he found a way out to have a VIP view of him.He climbed a sycamore tree.There might have been hundreds of people with a normal height who would have missed having such a view of Jesus inspite of their obvious advantages. Surprisingly Jesus stops below the tree where the man is standing and invites himself for dinner to his house. Zacheous is eager inspite of the obvious disapproval from all the people around who hate him for what he has been. When he comes out from...

The other day we had an EMFI meet at my place and one of our residents agreed to share the message. He gave a lovely reminiscence of his childhood and drew a parallel into the current scenario in our lives. He remembered his childhood days in Manipur where by the river-side he recollected playing in the beautiful pieces of land .With time as he grew up the river started changing course taking the path of least resistance,cutting through those landscapes till all that remains is the memory.The beautiful land is no more.It's gone forever. Our lives are like that river crooked ,where we make similar mistakes taking a path of least resistance,compromising,till one day we look back and find that the beautiful places are no more. He was stressing on the fact as to how we must take on the evil head on. It deeply touched me for I guess that is what Christ meant when he said "Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, a...

Yesterday was my birthday. I was in Rishikesh for the same.A strange way to spend a sunday,a birthday and a thanks-giving day,but I guess sometimes we believers need a shocker to sensitize our sleeping faith. The place was a modern Ephesus.Everything existed around the temple and the deities. The shops were selling things required to offer to the deities.The two suspension bridges built over the river Ganga had been conveniently named Ram and Laxman Jhula and it sells because it has become a tourist hub.The business starts right from the moment you set your feet on the bus-stand.I walked around,watching detatchedly the buying and selling going around just everywhere.Shops had come up to cater to the tourist taste,a german bakery...thai restaurants,italian fares mingled with the layers and layers of intricate temple wares. In Ephesus,the deity was Diana. My colleague asked me if there was a spirit of oppression around the place. I did not find them much different from the modern d...

Darchand has been on anti-tuberculosis drugs for the past fifteen months. He has been regularly taking the drugs and is being followed up faithfully by Mukesh.Mukesh has been taking time out to share the gospel with him.Darchand has been regularly reading the Word and has been praying and has by God's grace found the Lord. He was telling me about an incident on the train when one of the train assistants tried to loot him of his money.Darchand is a puny looking man.He was shaken to the core by the incident but he testified that he started praying and a strange peace came over him. Today he came to collect his medicine and I was deeply touched to hear him excitedly talk about his walk with the Lord.The drugs had taken it's toll,he had a slight hearing problem and had developed some features of hypothyroidism but he has a shine on his face and he relates his symptoms to his reading the Bible which amazes me.He tells me that his vision is fine but when he is reading the Bible so...

'When Apple Inc. Chief Executive Officer Tim Cook took the microphone at a memorial tribute to Steve Jobs at the company’s campus last week, he shared a piece of advice Jobs gave him before his death on Oct. 5. “Among his last advice he had for me, and for all of you, was to never ask what he would do. ‘Just do what’s right,’” '. I am trying to write something and yet words fail me. For Steve Jobs ,the right thing would I guess be to make as much profit as possible in the business while mantaining the ethical standards and making path breaking innovations along the way.I may be short-selling the guy,I don't know him! What would the right thing for a christian be? Paul's hope to which he had been called was- "I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death.For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Amazing standard!

The Lord has been taking me through my life and the experiences that have shaped me by and by into what I am.I have vivid childhood memories that often come across my mind's eye.Most of them are affirmative memories that have carried me through different times in my life,but I have felt the need to shed the hurts.Hurts are what the Lord has been taking me through these last few months. I have surprised myself by what I have been seeing in my past. One memory that sticks out like a sore thumb and I did not even know it existed is the christmas time at home.I am the youngest of the five kids.My eldest sister was the person who never forgot our birthdays and always had a present for each one of us during christmas.I was the Miss perfect,atleast that is what my siblings called me then.I always wanted my clothes and shoes a perfect fit. That christmas my sister forgot to buy a gift for me-there was a fortnight left and I could see her busy knitting a cap for me. On the christmas day...

Today our Prime Minister visited Sikkim. It was a promise he had made some days ago when the earthquake happened and true to his word he kept it. I felt overwhelmed with a deep sense gratitude although one would say it would be his duty.One does not expect the obvious from anyone anymore. Sikkim is not a vote bank to be reckoned.It has exactly one seat in the parliament,and the area where the disaster has occured is extremely sparsely populated.The Prime Minister thought it important enough to visit it.Thank God we don't have a cut and dried politician on the top whose line of thought and priorities would I guess have been different.

This is Mangan for you-not a cry baby,hopeless and helpless! Even as the nature spilled out it's wrath,the affected families were quick in getting shelter in the relative's homes. A rumour goes forth that from one of the villages completely cut off they got a message asking the relief workers not to airdrop any more food but send them petrol so that they could start the generators. Tried scanning the media for some news about Sikkim but the whole space was taken up by the 2G scam and Chidambaram. This is how it is! The locals are up and about in a big way taking control of the situation. The aftershakes continue,relief work goes on.Was trying my brother's mobile.Could not get through.Worried,called up mom in the evening,came to know that the BSNL lines are down. He had been about the whole day organising a brain-storming session of the engineers even as they look towards repairing the columns of the concretes which have suffered some cracks.They have invited some exp...

It happened out of the blue!God was merciful in that even before I knew it had happened the news that the family was allright had reached me. My cousin was at the skype reminding me how gracious God has been,in Iraq with the same intensity earth-quake I believe 40,000 people were killed. I was talking to my mother the other day and she was telling me how she was praising the Lord and holding on to Dad even as my brother came running down from his room to collect them to take them to a safer place. There is a community place where the folks gather right in the beginning of the old market place which just celebrated it's centenary.It has a huge peepal tree on top of a white limestone raise which is more than ten feet tall and can chair around thirty chairs easily. There are lovely wooden benches by the road where the old folks gather towards the evening to catch up on the news and we sometimes just walk over as a family to sit and enjoy the evening breeze.All of it has survived t...

Kiran passed away this morning.She was all of seventeen. I got to know her as a person when she came down for her summer holidays to Asha,my neighbour.Before that I had heard about the problems she had been through while trying to get on with the nursing training at Satbarwa.I had never tried to look beyond that. She had been abandoned as a child by her parents and had been brought up in a home.Having fallen sick during her nursing training she had to be rehabilitated to a home of sorts in Delhi where she was helping out with teaching the slum kids and earning money,so she seemed happy and was looking towards saving enough to pursue her studies. When she came to Asha's I would see her hovering around ,one day while striking a conversation with her somehow her need poured through so I took her shopping.It brought a lot of joy to my heart. I asked her if she would like to meet her parents ever and if she had a clue as to where they were?She had an idea about the place but not the...

It's well past a year since my cousin passed away.His mother is gracefully putting on in years.I can understand how difficult it must be for her to let go of a son and such a special one for that.Two nights back she dreamt a dream where one another cousin of mine walked into her room with a black bag carrying a letter from her dead son.The letter read,"dear mom,whenever you send a birthday card to wish my cousins please don't forget to write my name in it".She cried herself to sleep over it. A day later she realised it was my sister's birthday the next day. The two of them literally grew up together. Even as the funeral took place,my sister had flown in from Australia and the memory that was clearest in her mind was of her as a little girl,the elder sister taunting the younger brother even as he bawled asking to be taken with her to wherever she was going.My cousin was forty six when he passed away and my sister was forty nine.The memories that tie us !

I seem to be going through a crisis of sorts is what I am telling my sister over the phone and lo before the word is out she tells me she anticipated it.How would she know?I live 22000 kms away from her,rarely speak to her on the phone and when I do it is almost a 'by the way'conversation,I have not seen her since the April of this year when I went home for baptism and she tells me that she knew it was coming.That's women for you.Coming back to my sister,she started counselling me and put her finger on my problem even before I had a chance to say anything.Showed me the solution to be as simple as it was all along. I have in the past always got a good counsel from her. She offered to pray over the phone for me which she did in a sweetly rich content which further brought light into the problem.....when she had done with it-I was light years lighter. She has no idea of what's happening in my life whatsoever. That's why I think sisters are our best friends!

That was the sixth time I had got a call from the wards and my leg hurt.Dragging myself desperately through the HCH driveway,I was trying to get over with the errand as fast as I could when a group of innocents happened upon me.I took a ninety degree,trying to avoid them but the leader of the gang decided that they should take a detour as well.I took another ninety degree and I found myself talking to the Lord-'Lord it hurts!'.I felt a deep release......I found them waiting at the end of a drive-way like a bunch of kids.....I looked through them like I do most times.That's just me the way I have always been,doing things I don't mean to do. That is the way the Lord has dealt with me with surprises I never anticipate and revealing sides of me that startles me and makes me wonder once too often.It takes an innocent to help you unlearn and it takes another to help you start learning again. Lord,give me also springs of water...that I might overflow...

Yesterday was a day when I was feeling emotionally drained.My blood pressure recording the previous night which showed a high did not help.I had carelessly put in more than my usual share of salt in my curry and felt too lazy to do anything about it.Had a throbbing headache and when it amounted to nausea I walked to the casualty to get my blood pressure checked.As expected it was high. I popped a sublingual nifedipine in my mouth, walked up to the library and then sat outside on the steps for about an hour just praying as I sweated it out. Not a smart move,my blood pressure had plummetted down to 60/40,I waited a little longer till it came to 90/60 ,spent the evening with KT and Helen pouring out my woes,as usual they were there listening to me,helping me and praying with me.KT made his lovely cup of tea and Helen her heart-warming dinner.I entertained myself with Russel Peters.I laughed my belly out. The next day was a monday.The OPD was chaotic.I could just about manage to catc...

Mohammad Afzal, also known as Afzal Guru, was convicted of conspiracy in the December 2001 attack on the Indian Parliament and was sentenced to death by the Supreme Court of India in 2004. The sentence was scheduled to be carried out on 20 October 2006. Afzal was given a stay of execution and remains on death row. The other death sentence that has been in the news in the recent past is of those involved in Rajiv Gandhi's assasination.According to the law of the land,the power of clemency lies with the president or the governer,but does it? I was reading an article in the 'Tripple Helix' which struck a chord and set me thinking.This article was written by a doctor who had in the recent past forfeited his doctoring job to follow his call of serving full time in the ministry of the Lord.When asked why he had decided to leave a blessed carrier of saving lives,he replied that as a doctor he does not save lives but just tries to prolong it the best he can. When we come to the ...

Astha (name changed)came to us with florid jaundice ,looked grossly incapacitated ,had a virchow’s node palpable .Even as I examined her, I silently sent a prayer up asking the Lord for early diagnosis because she had been admitted in a hospital in Dehradun, had been worked up without a conclusion for over a week.We had the diagnosis at the end of the day.She had Ca-head of the pancreas.She was all of 32 yrs old,had lost her husband to a bout of drunken driving.I had to break the news to a broken father and an incapacitated sister.Not a pleasant job.I sat with the duo ,broke the news,talked to them generally about the way to go about it ,talked about God’s goodness in answering my prayer of an early diagnosis and offered to pray with them.Disturbed they were, but extremely receptive to my suggestion.Since Sushil was looking after the ward and they were referred for a second opinion to the oncologist in Dehradun,I thought that was all I would see of them. The next morning ,while my cli...

Monica was wheeled into the out-patient in a stretcher,taken to the orthopaedics OPD where Mathew after examining her promptly called us up and handed her over to us.She was a fifteen year old child with a 0 power in her lower limbs with a bladder and bowel involvement.Some aspects of her sensation were still intact.She had a history of having had fever a week ago following which she had rapidly become paralysed waist down.She also had a confusing picture of some degenerative changes in the spine.However,MRI and a second opinion from a radiologist in Dehradun confirmed a diagnosis of Transverse myelites.The first thing that struck me when I visited her the next morning was her cheerful face.It touched my heart to see a child so obviously incapacitated giving me an ear to ear smile .I mentally made a note that I would take some time to talk to her and share the gospel with her.The power in both the lower limbs was grade 0/5-that did not stop her from giving me the grin.We started her on...

Was on my way back from Mumbai,had a day in hand in Delhi.Was doing the round of the guest houses to book one for my cousins who were in town,managed to sprain my ankle. This is become a norm for me.My ankle haS been unstable eversince I chose to wear the white boot in the traffic in Delhi when I was ten.I was in it for a whole month.Went under the wheel of a newly married sardar who was still in his honeymoon haze in defence colony in Delhi.Incidently, my eyes were on the window of a bookshop,while my two sisters walked along with me on the side-walk.I decided to step down instinctively while I watched the white ambassador slowly climb onto my leg.This is India,so the car was immediately surrounded.The agitated man parked his car on my leg.I thought it was crushed but by God's grace it was just the shoe which was torn and I did have a bad sprain to while my winter vacation on and a legacy which keeps taking me back to that winter so many years ago. I have become quite a veteran ...

Have been travelling a bit around the country.Every where you go,the hot topic on board is Anna Hazare.I am an altruistic person by nature.Especially over the past several years I have been rapidly observing myself going soft.I was at it picking up a few necessities with Sheba in Mumbai when I saw a procession moving along the road with lit candles and placards ...........I was touched to see the mood behind it all.Atleast it was uplifting to see the youngsters at it...they seem to be moving along fine. I ,for one, have not been convinced by this movement.I may be biased but I have had difficulty accepting the entire process at face value. We have in the recent times seen a host of political figures ,during their tenure, in the government going behind bars for corruption...unheard of in India...would not even have thought it possible a few years back when people used to flaunt obvious misappropriation of power while the civil society used to watch from the sidelines in muted horror ...

We've been asked to write an essay of 200 words illustrating the similarity between people and rain.I have decided to change it to rain and people in Mumbai. One similarity that imediately strikes me today, even as I struggle past the traffic trying to catch that elusive auto to Thane ,on a day when there is a bus-strike ,is that there is plenty of both in Mumbai. They are unmanageable,fickle,poring out of every nook and corner,trying to make the best of every little space Mumbai has for them.They have no respect for order,is perhaps a headache for municipality and is just everywhere. Much like the rain in Mumbai,it's people are un-predictable as well.A posh car stops in the middle of a busy,wet and flooded traffic and agrees to drive us to our nearest stop.One would have to think twice before trying out such antiques in other cities. It's business time as usual for both in Mumbai.You flow along with them,you go along with them because that's Mumbai for you ,the ra...

Life has been happening around me .Listening to some lovely taped messages from the Christ Community Church somewhere in the US.The worship sessions are uplifting.Trying to work out my own time with God,but the problem with listening to too many messages is that we forget to get our own communication with God clear.This morning I was listening to one of the sermons titled 'The Judas heart'-It spoke to me..... The message was based on the palm sunday,Jesus' triumphant entry into Jerusalem...how all the Jews were hailing him as a messiah and welcoming him and the very next moment in their fickle demeanour ,campaigning his crucification.The author was relating his own story about how some years ago while they were attending a sunday service all the while to the church,they argued their way and just as they reached the church premise they were all chirpy anticipating a refreshing time of worship.A refreshing time of worship they did have, they walked out of the church bouyant ...

Just laid my hands on God's generals.One of my residents recommended it and especially arranged to get it for me from her temporary settlement in Dehra.Have not opened it as yet but am looking forward to reading it. Opened my house for the exchange students and two medicoes come for a visit to HCH,courtesy EMFI.Pasta was on the menu.We ultimately had a Newzealander and two english people hard on the stove giving us three different versions of pasta,with white sauce,tomatoe purie and cheese.Had a cool cucumber salad,ready made kababs,chicken curry and mint leaves to accompany it.It was quite a crowd with two english girls,one english man,one newzealander,one german lady,one canadian lady,two khasi boys and me.....I wasn't sure how it was going to work out but it did.The food turned out to be lovely,a friend bought some ice-cream for the dessert.However,the plum to the pudding was when we started singing with a guitar for accompaniement...suddenly the barriers were down and ever...

Today one of the staffs who had seen Babita hobbling towards the hospital in alprax haze...was telling us about it. She could barely stand on her feet but she was rushing with what little bearing she had,mumbling to herself..."I am going to Jesus!". Lord Jesus,we can never meet the standards of your divinity,love and care but what a tremendous compliment she has paid the hospital and the organisation. What a great responsibilty you have placed on our shoulders!! How many of our hearts and lives are the meeting place of Jesus for the broken and lost?

Travelled down to Dehra for the IELTES which is a part of the requirement for the Pulmonary Medicine training I am applying for.It was quite a trip trying to trace out the venue.Reached the place well an hour before time.The man who was coordinating the test had an extremely bad diction so it was tough trying to decipher the announcements over an average audio system.I have always had a fascination for english language so I enjoyed the test and the exercises involved.By quarter past four I was out of the venue and somehow managed to trace out the store Ango had taken me to some time back which has a collection of everthing one would need.I entered the store,the health freak side of me and all I coud see was calories,caffiene and packed food with it's unhealthy preservatives.There were my favouite brand of coffee but I have already given up on it some three months back.All I could dare to pick up was a brown bread which when I saw the que,i promptly dropped into the bread basket and...

Today we travelled down to Dehradun searching for a home for Babita. We zeroed down on Nizaat,a christian home for de-addiction.The person who met us in the place happened to be an ex-EHA person.It felt reassuring to know that the place was chaired by Pastor Sam Thomas who has been visiting our church for sermons off and on.There were the threads every where,a pamphlet of CMC on the table...the brochure had a link..it belonged to the Bethany trust and had the familiar picture of Lok Hospital and the Jeevan Sahara Kendra which has become so much a part of our lives through the prayer letters and our friends,the Eicher's. Saurabh,the administrater interviewed Babita with a skill and ease of an expert and had the facts on the table in no time.Nizaat only entertained male housemates so,there was no way Babita could be housed there. Pastor Sam Thomas directed us to Saurav who ultimately connected us to an ashram where an ex-addict had opened a home along with his wife where she could...

I was called to the casualty by my colleague to manage a hysterical lady who had landed up in the casualty .Scantily dressed but well maintained Babita was a lady who seemed clearly in a mess with a cut wound in the hand .By the time I reached her she seems to be blabbering one two dozen of incoherrant words. I sat with her for sometime trying to calm her down after which she sort of managed to express herself …there were accusations,an attempt to commit suicide,drugs,…but beyond that a desperate clinging to the name above all names.That had brought her stumbling to Lehmann Hospital…looking for some sort of acceptance which she called justice. She had not eaten for four days and had not slept for she did not know how long.She was addicted to alprazolam and proxyvon..but at the moment she just needed some kind of acceptance.I talked to her,prayed with her and with Helen taking the initiative we decided to go searching for some kind of relative who could support her.She had been kicked...

I miss my late cousin who died a year back often.I expect him to just materialise in the family get-togethers often forgetting he has long finished his journey here on earth.One reason why I miss him so much is his nature of engaging himself with us in ways in which people normally don't,almost demanding our attention and affection.One just could not ignore him.He was extremely sensitive,very intelligent and sharp. I was never around the year he was very sick so I always remember him as a healthy,hopelessly funny,a step ahead of you older brother who always seem to know more about you than you reckoned.His favourite past time was ribbing the life out of me when we met.He sang the blues beautifully and loved the guitar....I never noticed the beautiful hands and fingers he had but as he lay on his death bed even as I held his hands ...he was at it still ribbing me even as he struggled with every word.I prayed,oh I prayed through the pain.... The fragility of the life we live struck...

Getting past the eccentricities of the net connection in HCH is a mountain in itself.One would think it would be easier in a well-connected place like this. It's been a wierd month or so. Have been in an entirely different realm and sometimes I wonder if I will get my feet on the ground ever? Have been doing a study series on prophetic seers and on "lamentations".Also had the privellage to understand the song of Solomon better and realised what an immensely amazing work it is.I remember Dr Kuruvilla referring to it in his LRS from time to time.The desire to have that something more in God,the intimacy enough to be called not only His beloved but also His friend. I have felt the need for some guidance in some spiritual matters for sometime now. I have not really got the leading.The other day I accidentally stumbled into a crate full of old CDs in Mathew's place with this immensely rich collection .Anu emptied the crate literally into a paper bag and i am going thr...

My writing side seems to have gone on a sabbatical of sorts.The net's just about got back it's normal speed since yesterday night so now I can dare to put my thoughts on board. Saturday last,I had the oppurtunity to venture out to Edenbagh with my rucksack on my back and Karuna for company to make a quick visit to one of the old staff's house .They were having a crisis of sorts.Had the oppurtunity to share some tough stuff with the way-ward son including an extempore run through Proverbs 10,which was entirely unintentional.The child responded and was at the church the next day. On my way back was way-laid by a group of chattering young ladies one of whom broke away from the group and insisted i come home for tea.I was overjoyed to recognise one of the teenagers I had counselled and followed up post attempted deliberate self harm. However did not have time in hand since I had promised to join in for a pot-luck in one of my colleague's house. It warmed my heart to see...

One thought that has been predominantly in my mind the fortnight is a strong statement Dr.K.O John made in one of the bible studies in the junior doctor's fellowship in ODC.By God's providence ,George philip,my colleague from Oddanchattram is around and he reiterated the same statement in the church last sunday. The statement goes-'The Bible reads your life". We go through life ,a lot of times trying to push people into reading the Word,which is necessary because unless we read the Word we do not have the blue-print but all the while live compromised lives according to our convenience.If the Bible were to read our lives I would fail miserably. For one we do not believe in the Word.We think it is a plain manuel which tells us how to live our lives as far as moral lines are concerned,we forget in practise to accept it as the word Of the living God! We know the Word inside out and have read it all our life through but when it comes to making decisions we make decision...

May your life on this earth be a happy one, May your sun be warm and may the sky be bluuuuuuuuuue, May each storm that comes your way make way for a brighter day, May the Lord and Savior watch over you. As you spend time with friends and family And you see the warmth and love they have for you When you see the wars and the hate,others radiate May the Lord and Savior ,watch over you. As you spend time in this old world of ours As you see the beauty of the morning dew, As you smell the summer flowers,while you pass away the hours May the Lord and Savior,watch over you.

What a strange fortnight it has been,nightmarish to say the least,spiritually frightening.....'hold on to Jesus'-is all I can say to myself and to all the faltering believers who are desperately grappling with their faith. Lord you are all in all. Lift up this curtain of bondage that seems to be supresssing us and help us to reach out for you,to choose you,to put you first in our lives.... Give us the grace to step back to give you the rightful place,you are the King of Glory....you are the Prince of peace.....you are the king of eternal life........ May you be lifted up in our lives,in our institution today and always!

An event occured some two days back which broke a lot of our hearts.Something did not seem right.It stunned me first and then I confronted some of the people involved for a first hand account. Our church had been going through the series on Holy spirit and our pastor had just completed the series on the pentecostal sunday.Some people in the campus had been praying for a spiritual breakthrough .....He had given an alter call and I got up which is very unlike me.I was blessed. It was the day after that all these events seemed to have occured. Burdened by it all,I went into a time of worship till past the midnight the next day but on Wednesday morning I was having my quiet time as usual and while I was praying,I saw this vision of a huge golden snake sitting on the throne.It was so clear.I sat still for a moment thanked the Lord for the vision but did not know what to do with it-I prayed that the serpent might be dethroned and the Lord be given the rightful place,I made some time out t...

I remember the words of Dr Kuruvilla Varkey in one of the LRS’s which stunned me into a deep introspection -‘If you have a pure heart the poor and the needy will naturally come to you’. He did not say if you have a pure heart you will go to the poor.Here, there is another subtle dimension of self-fulfillment one can get at the behest of the poor if one is not careful. This statement has remained with me eversince ,making me do an integrity check on myself from time to time.I fail most times. The Sermon on the Mount clearly says-‘Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.’ What is it about the poor that God is so near to them? What is poverty? Is it just lack of material resources or is it much more.World Bank defines it as- “Poverty is pronounced deprivation in well-being, and comprises many dimensions. It includes low incomes and the inability to acquire the basic goods and services necessary for survival with dignity. Poverty also encompasses low levels of health ...

A PRAYER Lord , if I am a pilgrim on my way home Why do I hold on to things like I will never let it go….. Why is my feet so heavy…and my steps so slow….. Why do I hoard things…..people included…. Why is my baggage so heavy…that it will not let me go? Lord ,if I am a pilgrim on my way home Why do I live like a king and behave like a beggar? Why do I build empires which do not matter…. Lord, if I am a pilgrim on my way home Why am I here ? The road map is near… Your voice I hear… Lord if I am a pilgrim on my way home.. Make me a pilgrim on my way home…….

Tea gardens behind the HCH campus is a stretch of greenery and a blessing .This is a season of snakes but one can't help making a foray into the mini wilds the place simulates.There are trees of all kinds,all shape and all charecters which arrest your attention and touches your soul.The skies with the changing moods of the monsoons resplendant with hues of lilac and pink,surprising one out of the regular spectrum one would expect.It's God's handiwork which has an imprint of his person which never fails to startle,engage,entrall,enlighten and embrace. Thank you Lord for these precious joys...which are freely given.

CAN WE PRAY FOR THE RAINS THIS MONSOONS IN SATBARWA . ALL OF US KNOW THAT THE RAINS ARE EXPECTED TO COME IN FROM THE 15th OF JUNE.THE WATER TABLES ARE REALLY LOW AND IF WE DO NOT HAVE GOOD RAINS THIS YEAR THE CAMPUS WOULD HAVE TO START BUYING WATER FROM THE TANKS……BUT I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO FATHOM WHAT THE PEOPLE IN THE VILLAGES WILL DO…..AND THAT WITH THE RAINS A HARVEST OF SOULS MIGHT OCCUR. OUR GOD IS A GREAT GOD WHO ANSWERS THE SUPPLICATIONS OF HIS PEOPLE…….. ‘And who know whether you are come to the kingdom for such a time as this.’-Esther 4,vs14. Jeremiah 14,vs 22 "Do any of the worthless idols of the nations bring rain?" "Do the skies themselves send down showers ?" " No, it is You, O Lord our God. Therefore our hope is in you, for you are the one who does all this."

Once more in my life the Lord is teaching me what it is to depend entirely on Him.He is taking away all the props and teaching me that He is sufficient. Just came back from the Ascension service. At the end of a full day,deplete of all human strenght,what a joy it is to rest in the Lord in the company of believers worshipping Him.The sweeetness of His presence is a cushion that can shield me from any onslaught.It gently reminds me that I am His and He is sufficient. I may never take it for granted. Amen.

Was going through the final lectures wiith one of the visiting electives who plans to come back to India to work in the missions .It was amazing hearing him spontanaeously give a final talk to the residents about the testimony about his calling to be in India. Was feeling a little low having just got the news that our dynamic pastor was going to be away for a quarter of a year.The lord edified me through his testimony.Like most of us, he had reached the end of himself ,lost the taste for life….contemplating suicide and the Lord had taken over from there……. ‘Come to me all ye who are burdened ..and I will give you rest…’that was the verse that took him over to the other side . It is amazing how the Lord has these broken vessels all over the place .I get encouraged by the deep love he puts into ordinary vessels ,giving them a purpose that has eternal value and a worth that cost God,the Cross and a separation from his own person.Suddenly that ordinary ,broken human being is ordinary n...

Yesterday was the worship sunday at HCH. It was a time of presenting group songs and the floor was wide open for people to pitch in in the way they wanted.We sang two numbers ,one was 'Elshaddai' and the other 'Lily of the Valley'.The evening was heart-warming to say the least.All of us came away with joy in our hearts feeling good about the day. There is something heart-warmingly genuine about the place! I thank God that I am here in this place in a time like this! Couldn't take photographs but I guess I will take some of the pictures of yesterday to my grave. My redeemer lives!!

I have but recently forayed into the world of photography. The play of light and shadows have been fascinating me quite a bit. One of my favourite so far has been that of light filtering through the window into a dark room. Going into the physics of it,there are only two ways in which a ray of light can be seen .One is if it falls directly into the eye and second is if it is reflected through a medium. For the rays of light falling into the dark room the medium is the tiny dust particles suspended in the air,each one oscillating at it's own frequency and dispersing the light waves thus giving us the visual treat. Fascinating,I thought.I wondered what would be the charecteristics in the particles that made such miraculous phenomenon a possibility. I enumerated three,there might be more. The particle by the smallness and the lightness of it's being was suspended mid-air.(What processes it must have been through to reach that form.) It was literally living on the edge,a s...

I close my eyes and try to recollect where my life was when I was twenty....I vaguely remember Bengal,endless friends,poetry,aspirations...and a feeling that I could conquer the world....somewhere out there a calling for something more.... It's not so clear but I definately know where Ashwini Kumar was when he turned twenty.He was behind the bars somewhere in Dehradun district accused of raping a minor....released on bail and then tried to end his life by consuming a poison. It was one of those days when the ICU beds were occupied three in a row by patients of deliberate self harm.Two were twenty,each one in their twelfth class and the third was a girl just about thirteen. I was overwhelmed and loss for words when I went for the rounds in the morning.COuld not manage having a chat with all three and so after a close observation I picked out the one who looked the most bound and that was when Ashwini fell into my plate. It was the usual story of hormones gone on an over-drive w...

Had the Eichers over for a day and a half. It was so very generous of the family to forfeit two whole precious days of their annual break to spend it with us in HCH. I have always enjoyed having them over and this time too it was a treat. Their presence in my life is a very special blessing which reminds me of the love of our savior,constant,caring...and just walking along. Sheba calls me up once a month...and just listens to me..she has listened to me through all the ups and downs of my life...never judgemental,gently correcting me,guiding me at times....and I have talked,really talked away my struggles,my tensions......sometimes I have often wondered mid-conversation how Sheba could possibly take in all that I jabber but she has....and she has never forgotten to pray with me over the phone. These are the monthly calls and apart from it they also manage to visit me at my place of work once a year,earlier it used to be Satbarwa and this time it was Herbertpur. I thank God for th...

The scales are going happy on me. We have a british scale in the OPD passed on as an inheritance I suppose ,arguably the most accurate scales in HCH. The staffs pop in every now and then to weigh themselves –everyone descends off it with a thoughtful expression on their face…God only knows what they think about and I try my best not to intrude into that intense moment in their lives. There are occasional extroverts who blurt out their bane loud and clear and it almost always moves along a similar trend. I found the trend I was taking quiet encouraging in the first few weeks because I was grossly overweight…..atleast that’s what the standards in the diet manuels stated.I thought life was pretty cool but for a niggling doubt that I hadn’t become one of the victims of the manifold diseases I work against. I had no other symptoms and it suited me fine as long as I felt good about losing a few extra pounds-I felt a lot lighter!Everyone seemed to notice my weight loss. Over the last...

Twelve years ago when I was doing my post-graduation in Odddanchattram….I shared with Dr K.O. John about my not being baptised…..I don’t remember what KO told me that day but the day I was to leave ODC, in the English fellowship in Dr Selwyn’s church a group of saints of God laid their hands on me and prayed ,I got convicted that I had been baptised in the Holy spirit then. That conviction carried me through the next twelve years of my tumultious Christian journey.I knew I had to go through the physical process of baptism as a step of obedience to Christ and prayed about it earnestly for the Lord to lead me….it did not happen. When my time in Satbarwa was getting over,I mentally made a note that my baptism would be high on my list of priorities.I thought I would get it done in HCH because the spiritual clime was so much more feasible…..but the prompting was there for me to go back to my hometown ,a place where I am so much more comfortable..as well as stiff-necked…,I needed to go th...

Had an amazingly humbling time during baptism.The pastor and the congregation were so encouraging and gracious in the message they shared.Had some precious people attend the baptism-was a time of revelation for most of us who attended-Our God is great indeed! Amazing thing about praying for situation and people is that there is indeed a movement,a dynamism,of God moving in mysterious ways,it seldom stays status quo. May we be people who are willing to walk the thin line for the Kingdom of God,people who are willing to come out of the comfort zone every day of our lives in the choices we make,choosing above all to be with Jesus! Was on the flight back via Guhawati with my sister.Midflight there was an emergency call for medical help for a passenger who had angina.I was extremely grateful to God that I could be useful and the experience made me richer.....in the sense that matters the most. Our God is a wonderful God and his mercy endures forever.

Watched 'The King's speech','the Black swan' and an old favourite,'One flew over the cuckoo's nest'.Loved the first and the last but found the second a triffle too disturbing. Incidently lost an aunt of mine two days before easter and so had to postpone my baptism by two days.By God's grace all my siblings but one are going to be around for it.It has been scheduled for wednesday.My mom's been at it goading me in her own subtle way to be on my knees for it. My parent's have lived their faith all their life through. My sister incidently was doing a write-up on christianity in Sikkim and was knocking the doors of old christian contacts for materials and she was sharing with me how the doors just opened up when Dad's name was mentioned. One very highly revered man of God in the capital went so far as to compliment my sister on her being so fortunate as to have such a Godly heritage in my parents.She was so grateful to the parents that she...

I lost a dear aunt yesterday evening. She was a grand old lady,something of an enigma the entire life through. She lived in a castle,wore a golden shoe,she was almost like a fairy godmother during our growing up years. She was widowed at the age of thirty and all my growing up years I remember her as an aunt,blessed abundantly materialistically and she left no stones unturned to pamper us kids.We had the best of tucks and the best of pocket money all our life through,thanks to her. She smelt good and was an eternal discipliner.She tried extremely hard to turn all of us girls into elegant ladies.We always remember her as the person who used to work hard at teaching us the finer details of sikkimese etiquettes.There were a lot of does and don'ts.There have been days when we have sat with her through the day with stiff backs,politeness personified. Through all the good and bad times of our life she was there in the background ,someone my mother could always turn to. The previous...

"Do not come any closer,Take off your sandals,for the place where you are standing is Holy ground."Exodus 2 vs.5. "Take of your sandals,for the place where you are standing is Holy" Joshua 5.vs 15. God has picked up two men and is recruiting them for an agenda which is entirely His. He is going to use them for His burden to the glory of God. Why does He ask them to open their sandals? What are the sandals in our lives that prevents us from fully being used for His glory? What are the things in our lives on which we stand, which prevents us from being bare-footed on the Holy ground,submitting humbly to the lord saying-'Here I am Lord!'. Is it our agenda?our comfort zones?,our positions?,our profession?our competence?or just plain lack of faith.One great man of God sums up the sandals in one phrase-'Our rights!' In one of our morning meetings one of the residents prayed a sentence which touched my heart.'Lord let your Glory be revealed thi...

Manoj died this morning.He was brought dead to the casualty. His mother called Jenniffer ,the doctor who had been looking after him for the last three years .She testified that she felt a deep peace in her heart even as she declared him dead.Somehow she felt a deep assurance in her heart that he was home with the Lord. I have known Manoj for the last six months since I have been in Herbertpur.Almost his entire family has been ravaged by XDR tuberculosis.Now his mother remains. His life has touched mine in various ways and I have already dedicated two of my articles to him.The last time I met him was several weeks back when he walked into the TB clinic to collect his medicine ,I asked him if he had a bible with him,he said not.I handed him a new testament which he received with such gratitude that it struck me that he had understood the worth of the bible. His mother shared that on the last day he had spent the whole day reading the bible and sharing the good news with his mother ...

I have been counselling a few ladies off and on on subjects I am not exactly masters in.I pray for them and on retrospect I myself get surprised by the prompting of the Holy spirit even as I venture into the foreign land in faith. One evening I had called a few ladies over for tea.One of them in all good faith was talking about another christian lady who inspite of having so many problems would make all the ladies in the group laugh.She used the line 'rote ,rote bee sabko hasaate hai!'.It almost sounded like the story of the joker in the circus who was hilarious in his public shows but his life per se was a tragedy all through and finally the story ends with the joker committing suicide. What are we as christians inheritors of?Are we inheritors of such burdens which are to be placed under a facade of 'all is well' mask? Jesus has called us to 'Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled ...